The only way to calm one's mind :

Often i am bogged down with the task of decisions-making. More recently, in addition to my work, i have to choose about the girly princess fantasies one may have to the wedding. I've heard how the term bride-zilla comes about, and how elaborate weddings can be. From themes, to colors, there's so much to fuss about. I however chose to take the relaxed way out.

The wedding is to be one of the most greatest party i'll have. I am excited at the mere thought of seeing my family, and friends (a huge group of whom stay half a world away). My college mates who are nicely scattered all across the world, have decided to make my day, and to make their own reunion, right during the wedding date. I am as determined to be as relaxed as i can. Afterall, isn't a life with less expectations easier to manage? No expectations = no disappointments.

In lieu of the rising amount of stress, i decided to hang out with my running buddy. We spoke of the stress, and random musings in life : whales. In that hour of run, i bitched about the weather, my old trail shoes, the trail, and possibly doing marathon. The run caused an uproar with my mom who chided me for failing to do more for the wedding, instead bailing out to go run. My thoughts : why not? I came home a happier person, although deciding whether it's 21.1 or 42.195km. I went out and did the only way i know how to calm my mind from this storm brewing up. I ended up being more calm, in the midst of this wedding madness.

So bring on the wedding.

And of cos, to partyrock.

*photo courtesy of Mr. Heng*

One more month before the party...

Yep, time flies. On the same day last year, i wasn't engaged. I was just the same girl who partyrocks, runs, have fun, and work. Fast forward a year, i am like one month to being a Mrs. And now it dawn upon me. Responsibilities will change, thinking will change, lifestyle will change.

One night, while running with my fave buddy, he reminded me to move with the changes from being single to being married. He mentioned about my singleton life of going running (whenever, wherever), to my partying, and my workaholic life, and to slowly learn to become a wife. I gave him a stare, and wish that i would retain some part of my lifestyle.

Sure there would definitely be changes. Considerations have to be made for two, instead of one. I can't just sign up for a race, then informing the other half. I have to now seek approval. I have to also learn to give up some stuff, and to embrace new ones like planning for a family.

The things that have changed are that now i'm rocking a new do. No one would believe i used to do triathlons. I have long hair, i have finally learnt how to put on some fake lashes. I have learn to embrace being skinny, and not muscles. I'm really looking more so like a tai tai. Don't worry, i'm still jogging. During a random night of joining a group of old tri friends for a drink, one of them mentioned that he still sees the short hair spunky Eve who's out rocking the tarmac. He may be right.

I have a feeling, i'll be back to rocking my own lil triathlon, someday.

Time to do a tri

I always tell myself "somedays are good, somedays are bad". I had a twitching right lower eyelid. I attribute that to stress. A quick google of the eyelid however result in the superstitious me also believing it could really be a touch of bad luck, even though other articles are strongly suggesting good luck could possibly be coming my way. So which is which? Which do i believe?

Rather than making myself panic thinking which to believe, i have started daydreaming. I've wondered about the day i get back on my bicycle. My beloved p2c. And that fear, and excitement rolled into one. Or i would love to attempt another triathlon. I always wondered where did i ever summon the energy or that motivation and the determination from my one and only attempt at Ironman70.3 a couple of years ago. I marveled at my friends' accomplishments of finishing numerous ironman races. Wow, where did they find that motivation?

I then looked at one tri event. Seems long enough to whet my appetite, yet a little too long to think twice. Even more so, when this is post wedding : 7 weeks. I used to just go with the wind. But i guess i have too much on my plate then. A place i will then call home, a new room to adjust myself to, more new family members to embrace & to love (ok, throw in some hate, and disgust too), and a slight change to my lifestyle. That would be my longest race, which takes a whole load of commitment.

So am i ready? Or am i going to wallow in my clout of bad luck? Or wait!

The good luck's coming my way.

To be a good boss?

What does it take to be a good boss? Offering better pay? Better perks in life? Better work-life balance? I think i have not offered better pay nor any of those things above. I am a Chinese (Asian) boss, akin to dragon mother. The term "dragon mother" has taken a whole new buzz, after Amy Chua (a very famous author, if you haven't read Joy Luck Club) wrote on a book about them. I expect the best for my employees, similarly the same way i've driven myself : to be the best in work.

Unfortunately, some things came about unexpectedly. I had to cease a project. A project i had hired more than 40 employees for. 40 employees with families and cars to feed. This is not going to be easy. I had spent a few nights tossing in bed, weighing the pros and cons of terminating this project, whom i had spent most of my time 24/7 with through the past year and half. The pros were simple : i get my life back, i get to go back to triathlon, i will get married without much worries, and even go for a long term holiday. The cons are : many lives are dependent on me and the project generates 'X' revenue for me to live out my dreams. The cons overweigh the pros, resulting in sleepless nights, and extra wrinkles on my sad face. I don't know how i am going to do this.

In a matter of minutes, i need to announce the exit strategy to my team : the last day is 31st June 2011. Goodbye my team, some of you are awesome, some of you are not.

Time to hunt for another "baby" to nurture, to grow and to prosper.

Japan...

I was in Japan from late feb all the way till 1st of March. The first earthquake / aftershocks hit Japan a week post me coming back. And then the big one that hit Japan at the magnitube of 8.9 on the richter scale came on the day of 11th March 2011.

Japan is awesome. I don't have too many words to describe it, except awesome. I arrived at Tokyo and jet off to Hokkaido, to a lil village of Niseko, where powder snow rules the mountains, and the wisps of cool air wraps you like a blanket. I'm not a good snowboarder, neither do i claim to be. With bad knees, anything with a board beneath my legs isn't good news. Perhaps only then i realize why i rule in the waters. Not on any form of H2O. Niseko has its potentials to become, like what the news and various investors have indicated, the aspen of the east. With the country's manners, attitude and service level, Japan caught my heart and my eye. And when i left on March 1st, i wanted to be back.

I've been tracking the news and happenings since March 11th. Even more so when a potential nuclear disaster (which some have liken it to that of chernobyl) might unfold, with the explosion at the fukushima power plant. When you look at the number of pictures online, you compare fukushima versus tokyo. And you wonder : what hit this beautiful country? Everyday, you hope you pray and you await news that some good might come out from worst earthquake disaster in Japan.

Japanese are a very courageous lot of people. They are well-prepared, they are courteous, they are still showing courage in this time where fear encapsulates their mind. And these people will prevail, and they will be able to get through these tough times. Fight on, Japan.

The Singapore Biathlon 2011

I didn't know why i was in bed at 10pm on a friday night. I was exhausted from the week's work. I felt a tiny flu bug hitting me, and decided to call it an early night and down that mug of water laced with berocca vitamin c.

At 6am, i heard the alarm. I still lazed around in bed. I spoke to my mom close to 630am, wondering if she's awake too early, or i might possibly be late. Of course, it's the latter. And i realized it was time to squeeze myself into my tri tights, and get to East Coast Park. My wave is at 730am.

I got myself to the start line less than a minute from the gun off. The swim was a washing machine during the first 200metres. Nothing that i did not expect. And i found new meaning to "breast strokers", like literally. The only surprising thing is there were not many seabugs in the ocean, nor jellyfishes. I suffered a few bites, but at least the water was cooling, and i didn't have too bad a time trying to finish it. My mind though kept saying "are we there yet? why is this taking so long?"

Out from the sea, i staggered like a bad drunk to the transition point. Socks, shoes, gels, and race bib. I was off to run that 10km. Truth be told, i had a bad time trying to do 10km over the past few months since Singapore Marathon 2010 in December. I wasn't able to sustain running anything more than 5km. Yep, my life was that sad. Today however was my day. I managed to find this slow jogging pace : i reckon 6:20 per km. Slow, but i know i'll get to the 10km mark. I saw Matt as expected. I saw a few of my friends.

I crossed the line, according to the result, at 1 hour 46 mins 52 seconds. A tad two minutes slower than last year. But at least i completed it.

Here's to Julian and his wonderful way of convincing me that this is a tradition. I have and must do it. ahhhhhh bahhh... till 2012.

Start the Wabbit Year off on the right foot

Every year, i had always tried to start the year right. In that weird queer lil' brain of mine, i thought "In order to do so, you have to end the "old" year right". Errr right! What's right would depend on one's lofty ambition, and aspirations. Before my lunar new year reunion dinner, i took my brand spanking new pink Asics DS Trainers off for a quick run, in a bid to feel better of the bingefest over the lunar new year holidays.

I had a terrible tummyache, and welcomed the "rabbit" year on the lunar calendar in bed. That cleared most of the system. That queasy rumbling feeling in the stomach, upon waking up on the first day of the new year, did not stop me from munching on the traditional fried sweet chewy cake ('nian gao'), and my asian beef jerky ('bak kwa').

At least, now stepping off the right foot meant i am always constantly full = rich.

Facing life's ups and downs

Since the beginning of 2011, i told myself "time to get some fitness back". So far, the plan sort of worked. I've been going at Macritchie Trails on weekend, and try to rejoin the Monday Tri Swim. The Monday Tri Swim crowd has always been "encouraging" in their back-to-squad-swim-welcome, with words like "wah can buy 4D", or "guest appearance?". Somehow, the words don't get to me or bother as much. I pretty much have subscribed to "let's just have some fun, who cares if i am slow?". I can't go through 4km jogging through the trails without huffing and puffing my lungs out. Did i expect this? Well, yes and no. I was hoping my muscle memory would kick in, but i didn't expect to fall back that far of my fitness. That's just one of many life's ups and downs.

Work has been bogging me down. I toyed around with expansion ideas. Part of my Pinky & the Brain's idea of taking over the world. However, i'm faced with the finance portion, and the handling of the bonus-Chinese New Year syndrome of leaving staff. That, i sum it as part of life's ups and downs. With my increasing time spent at work, the more i see how tough running or even micro managing can be. I sleep early post work by 11pm, waking up at 3am to watch some tv due to insomnia or thinking about work.

Life throws curveballs all the time. To battle it, it's about retaliation and resilience, and being able to keep calm under panic. To sleep and come up with a better idea. I often wondered about having the same financial security, as i did as a little kid. My dad was around just all of five years of my life, but he did tell me never to take things for granted, and that you got to work hard to get something you want, and to run with the wind once you catch that energy. Those are lessons i hold dearly, as he passed on some 25 years ago. I was blessed to live a good part of my life, with zero worries. And to face with potholes now, i felt i can do it cos what doesn't kill you only make you stronger. To feel all miserable about it is not going to bring back the same lifestyle; but to transfer negativity into a driving force might just change the road ahead of you.

And I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Have a good weekend.

2011 resolutions

The start of a new year. A year, many of my friends deem, is going to be exciting. I know for sure, changes are abound. First up, i am getting married. By NYE of 2012, i would be a Mrs. O well, but like some friends said, that doesn't change a lot of things. I'm still going to be Eve.

So for 2010, i wanted to be more appreciative of my family and friends, focus on work and get a lil lean. All of which i felt i have done my best, and gave my all.

I woke up by 9am in 2011, and i already felt it to be different. This year i'm going to find more time to workout and be a little leaner. While my focus is still going to be work, i need to declutter and cut a little slack to myself. Like the papers said this morning of 1st Jan 2011, truth hurts, but it's a neccessity if i want to stop wasting time and start moving forward. And to begin the year on the right foot, by clearing the air and getting rid of people and situations that have been holding me back. And to embrace the future with optimism. How appropriate.

So for 2011 : i strive to be

1. Growing my business... may it grow and flourish...
2. Start finding a leaner me. Less tummy, less fattening food, more time for sports.
3. Grow a lil closer to the family & friends, and perhaps find a few more friends in the year.

So to an awesome new year, i pray for everyone around me to have the time of their life this year. In my simple ah lian terms, HUAT AH!

2010 in retrospective

At the end of every year, it's becoming a tradition to write about the year that has passed. Those 12 months, and 365 days, or 525600 minutes. Like the musical "Rent" sings " How do we measure a year? in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, or cups of coffee? in inches, in miles..."

Work-wise i've developed my business a fair share, scored a business deal that has enough zeros in it. I've got a slew of happy problems. I understood a lot more about managing a big team, and managing others' expectations from me. I worked towards buying a Porsche, without feeling the pinch.

Of cos, at the time this blog post is written, COE (Certificate of Entitlement, a piece of paper you need to have a car in Singapore) is now pegged at over S$70k (est. 53k USD), for a car with a capacity over 2Litres. Pop goes whatever motivation i have to work harder. Maybe i should focus on handbags. In 2010, i bought less handbags, more love to Marc by Marc Jacobs and online shopping, due to the longer hours i clocked at work.

When one spend more time at work, the last thing i thought of doing is focusing on triathlon or swim bike run. No, i did not get fat. I actually feel leaned out. I lost muscles, i managed to still keep up my fitness a little, and eating a lot more right than usual. My skin's a little more fair. I drink and party far lesser than usual.

In May, i had one heck of an epic trip to Bali. Yea, 23 haters on board an airplane. Sure the trip tore apart some people, but it brought some closer to each other. I got nothing to complain. And i still have the same bunch of friends. Or more friends.

And you know what... the best way to end 2010 is to spend time with some haters, and have one heck of a time.

In December

December usually meant a marathon or 21km to mark the end of running races / triathlons i've signed up for the year. This has been the same thing since 2007. This year, I haven't been training much, leading up to the marathon. I chose to sleep in, or to go out to party up to relieve the work stress. For that, i paid dearly on the 5th December 2010. I took a really long time to finish the run. I deem that the walk of shame, and with bad tanlines to match. O woe is me! I look like i have a bad case of ugly stockings every time i choose to flaunt my legs. It's fashion faux pas all through the Christmas season.

Decembers also meant a lot more eating out, and a lot more socializing with friends over food and drinks. I told myself I am not going to put on more weight or i need to meet my resolution of getting toned & lean. Since i can't get toned, as i have no time for resistance training, nor any form of disciplined training, I might as well try to lose weight. While flipping a book, my sister and i chanced upon calorie counting, and how much calories do one human being use up a day.

Calorie counting is like weight watching, in a more detailed form. Every lil bit of food you put into your mouth is the calories. In case you think i didn't know that all along, i did. I'm just in denial. So now fried food and sugary stuff should be kept to a minimal. Did you know kueh tu tu has almost like 60 calories per piece? Or that McDonald's vanilla ice cream is like 150? Let's not even talk about cutting down canned drinks, and soda... my favorite coke. I'm such a coke addict. I wonder how much of a mess i'll be, cutting off anything i eat or drink on every whim. I am on day two now. You know, I might just survive this, for 2010.

Here's to a skinny bitch me ... for the end of 2010.

The return of the rice machines

Last night, as i was driving home, i noticed an EK4 egging cars on, meandering its way down the street. Life was good, just going with the flow of traffic, looking at an Naturally Aspirated (NA) car acting like an idiot, weaving in and out of the traffic. That is, until i noticed this loud blaring Evo zooming out from a street corner. Woohoo, time for some action. The EK4 swerved across three lanes, and then tried to stick to the tail of that turbocharged machine, refusing to let it out of sight. That moment was pure joy for me, as i let out a snigger.

It was that very moment i realized how much i love driving, and the cars. Of course, how big of an ah lian i truly am. I'm Eve, i love cars both NA and turbocharged. I am a ricegirl, and used to read Import Tuner within the walls of my college dorm. My dabbling with cars then were the 4G63 Mitsubishi Eclipse Turbos, the GT3000, and the RX7. Drag racing was a thing in midwest. However, I drove a simple Gen3 Volkswagen Golf cabrio, looking fly and basking in the sun and attention of a open top ride. Fast forward a couple of years, i am into a different breed of cars : continentals. I like the sound of the ferraris and the maseratis. And i would love a Porsche Boxster S. I can't imagine life not loving cars. However, any given day, i will dye my hair, get into tiny shorts, and a tube top, and jump at the chance to pose in front of a nice ride (my ride of cos). Even if I no longer had the same figure when i was 21 though, sadly :).

Today, I would still love to jump at the idea of driving my dreamcar around Sepang International Circuit, engaging the car with every turn of the circuit, and embracing that fun and excitement. But for now, i'm quite happy with the Mini, it comes with a turbo definitely.

the road onwards to another 42km.

15 days to marathon. tick tock tick tock!

Recently I started running. I finally decided I needed to get my game on (which is no game, to begin with) for the marathon. I finally accepted how absolutely unfit I am, engaging muscles that were left idle for the past months. It's all in past tense cos now i've been running. Twice a week, or thrice. Over an hour and half each time. The alarm bells went off, so let's get this party started.

Well, i started running partly due to the fact that my other half has decided he's gonna start to work out, that has upped the ante to me working out. He's more keen in muscle building, but throws in a few 5km runs here and there, and outrunning me each time we do so. I have to outshine, or at least try to. I can't win, when it comes to the boy. He's crazy, and he believes in method training, thanks to his programming mentality. So i've been going for hill repeats. They are short, they are intensive, and they're muscle numbing. Oooo, and they raise my heartrate to insane levels. And i enjoy the feeling of having a good workout. Ever the sucker for pain, i always return with grumbles, yet always managing to go a lil further, and more loops. I have to win in other ways that i can.

So i have only this to say to Singapore Marathon 42km course (all the way from Orchard to Clarke Quay to East Coast), like what Cee-lo sings, "f*** you". I'm going to finish the course, regardless of the pain and suffering. I am egoistic, and i can't take No for an answer, and most importantly, i figured what i am going to wear for my marathon this year. :) See you guys at the Singapore Marathon.

Run beside me

It's weeks leading up to the Singapore Marathon. My 3rd SCSM. I had to start running, whether i like it or not.

Along the way, i am thankful i always have good people around me, who would cheer me on to make sure i don't walk. Matthew o Matthew... come back soon, so we can go run. This year, i managed to somehow get Reeves to go along with my program. As he said : "I'm not looking at the calender, it always say i'm too late". Well said!

On Saturday evening, he decided we should run. It was a case of the storm chasers. It was wet and rainy, hot and sunny. One minute it poured, the next it drizzled, and then it stopped. We had to run, with little time to get our body prepped for the long distance. Well, of course, i walked a little. But i'm happy. Cos i clocked a distance that i haven't been doing in a long while.

Onwards for the week! Run....!

Shoulder pains

I work in IT. My work is mostly done over my 13 inch Apple Macbook Pro. I have an stretched muscle due to ergonomics. Obviously, my chair and my table are not of ergonomic standards. Tsk, so much for someone who is certified OSHA trained.

So post run on Sunday, i was talking to Kelvyn and Reeves about it. And this is what Kelvyn had to say

"you have not gone in your aero bars for far too long, that's why when hunched over computer will pain. Cos both are same position"

Repeat after me. WTF. Seriously, Kelvyn.

Hot hot hot

I can't think of a better word to describe the weather these past few days. HOT. My mom's been nagging that i am too sick to go for the New Balance Real Run. I've lost my voice and nursing this incredulous sore throat all week. But those who know me, would know i am insane, crazy, and never listening to the sound advice.

I was coughing when i woke up at 5ish am to conquer my 15km. I knew it's not going to be a good day, not when i woke up drenchedin perspiration. While i was out on the cross terrain of the New Balance Real Run. I kept gasping for air. And my poor ankle ( ok, i admit, i should quit getting on three or four inch heels, but i love them so much) had this swell that came on. I knew it's not going to be a quik run. I am going to do my personal worst timing. And darn right i was. I walked most of the way, i don't need to disclose my time.

I only have this to say : yes i could die another day, just not today.
And i will never ever go for a run longer than 3km on this kinda cough and sore throat, it's not worth it. I'm just darn glad i survived it, and made it home.

to run or not to?

After a series of lil runs i had this week, i succumbed to my illness --- bad ass sore throat. By that, i meant i brought sexy back. The husky, hoarse yet sexy voice has been here to stay. Minor pains here and there, mostly bodyaches, brought me thinking i am dead for Sunday's New Balance Real Run.

Yikes! Panic panic panic. It's now a day before. My voicebox isn't anywhere perfect. I still sound like i operate one of those chatlines, with a voice that lures everyone to go "sexy sexy". Now the decision is to be made. To run or not to run tomorrow?

Running out of a rut

It had finally dawned on me that I have barely two months to go. Yes, YongFeng, 7 weeks is a month odd. And those dreaded 42km across Singapore. It's a distance I have done a few times over. Why the fear? Tried going running a few times And I can't seem to overcome the 8km mark, how am I going to deal with those 42km?

I went down to east coast park to show some love to the guys running Newton 30km. I cant possibly envision running that far. It was weird seeing faces scrunched up in pain and dazed! Hui Koon and Enrico were zooming as usual. When can i ever run 30km under 3 hours? For now I am just worried about finishing.

Any brilliant advice? Anyone? I need to run 42km soon.

With a face mask on my face, I think the best plan i come up with is I will go running anytime I can whenever I can and preferably everyday. One foot in front of another, i will get there.

Headstrong and softhearted

I had a conversation with some friends today, mulling over the lack of preparation for the year-end marathon. I signed up in May, thinking "i have six months, why panic?". Wrong move, with the amount of fluctuations and changes i have with work.

With 9 weeks to go, i wonder about my plan for the race. I ran 5km last night. Then i knew it's time to panic. NINE MORE WEEKS! I told Matt "yea, i'll just keep running, unless money gets the better of me, and i chose to make money instead of running". and told others that "even if my head is willing, my heart is unwilling, then why force it?"

Then comes the term : headstrong and softhearted. I haven't heard other words that says the head is soft, and heart is hard. It just didn't seem right.

For now, i'll keep on running. Cos that's the only way i can do or panic, just barely 9 weeks away from 2010 Marathon. :)

the big 30 --- i wanna be a skinny bitch

I remember when approaching the "big" 2-0 then, that i had views and dreams that 2-0 is really very old, and filled with big dreams. And i even made a pact to marry a friend of mine, if i turn 21 and was single then. That rolled around, and i was attached to someone else then, so nothing came out of that.

The 20s was filled with excitement and partying, and making a new social market for myself. As i made my way to mid-20s, i thought how wonderful life is if i got hitched at that age and had a kid. When i started turning 27, i felt i wanted to conquer the world, and just focus on building a name and reputation in the telecomms industry. Towards the end of my 29s, the man who silently rooted for me despite all the ups and downs, decided to propose. I crossed 30 being engaged to the same wonderful man i knew.

Now turning 30 for less than a week, i went to do my first sunday run as a 30 year old, with Reeves hinting "it's because i am 30, and scared of being fat". Perhaps he's right. The next 10 would be a scary thing. Lots of changes in life. One thing's for sure : i wanna be a skinny bitch.

Pls pardon me while i slowly try to conquer the world.