Thursday, January 25, 2007

under the weather...

I wonder how often i fall sick. I heard a supplier reply "again" when i informed him i am not at work cos i feel sick... That word "again" caused me to wonder. So i am adding the label under the weather to this cause.
I am feeling under the weather, exactly when it chooses to rain the entire day. Drizzles here & there. My body aches. I feel like crap. I am slightly sleepy, yet i can't really sleep. I kept tossing & turning. Sigh...

I haven't gone to the doc's, because my symptoms have not really manifested itself. What can i tell my doc? She's probably going to dispense me some antibiotics. Bah! I hate that stuff.

I must have looked different or perhaps like crap today, cause i met a close friend who couldn't recognize me at all. I was baffled. Then again, it might be this new look i've been experimenting with. But i'm keeping it hush hush in case there're days that i don't want to talk to any friends, and i just want to disappear with the crowds. The friend commented it's not Eve.

So what is Eve? Comments please....

Saturday, January 20, 2007

that unforgettable feeling

The workload this week has calmed down. As much as i love the calmness, i also hate the boredom as no one has the time to sit down for a cuppa with me, and dread the thought of having to work doubly hard to make up for a quiet week.

I've been contemplating going to IntegraSg trackday at Sepang. Mainly cos i expected myself to be in Beijing now... and that work trip is still pending. Secondly, i don't have my ride to drive. And of cos the unpredictability of work makes decisions even harder.

But i am glad i did go. Last minute decision from a me that i lost along the way. I love the impromptu-ness and the last minute decision on such stuff. I managed to taxi with Cheng. Props to him for that. And it made me remember why i absolutely love driving. Omg, i wanted so much to just drive then, it's that unforgettable feeling of sheer exhileration, despite the fact i was perspiring from the heat at Sepang. My thoughts on his car are that it rolls like a dream, very predictable understeering and there's good enough power around it for a NA ride. I like the way it's set up. Our drive styles are different, so i had my lil' grumbles, but all's good.

So now the weekend is here. I can't believe i slept before 1am on Friday night... when i receive too many calls beckoning me down to Zouk, which of course I did not succumb to that, and figured my bed is way comfy, and of cos, being in jammies is the best feeling ever.

Have a good weekend...
Cheers & XoXo,

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

seeking validation from others?

Did anyone read Sumiko Tan's article in Sunday Times' Life section titled Me Myself and I this past weekend? And how she talked about not depending on others to make yourself happy and the seeking of validation from others? And to seek happiness from yourself alone?

I sat down on the cold rainy Sunday afternoon and pondered whether i've constantly seeked validation of my existence : how many people really loved me or adored the ground i walk on. I often and still do tell people that they must love me. And i know everyone loves me. And i go around telling people that i know they love me. Is that a sign of the needyness of validation?

At the end of the day, i know it doesn't matter to me who loves me. We all need friends. As the article mentions (if i recall correctly) that "good quality relationships are vital to one's well being, very alike to vitamins helping us through tough times and sustaining us daily". But that school of thought is also challenged with the need to decipher between toxic relationships from the non-toxic ones. Perhaps one day i should sit and ponder who deserves my time / my love / my affections a lil' more than others.

Angie my bestie has said that her new year's resolution is to simplify, to get rid of the toxics in her life, and spend time with people who matters most. The thing i question is how do you know if the person matters most and how this person can be made a good friend, when all of us started out as Hi-Bye friends, and only churn out meaningful great fantastic friendships through time and test? I think i'll stick to my usual routine of knowing more people.

So the need to seek validation from others, in my opinion, is found within ourselves, whether we really choose to embrace it or ignore it. Everyone knows if you do not care about me, you're probably not worth my time. But when you have chose relationships that you have thought to matter to you, you have to set yourself up for disappointment, and sometimes it gets so hard to walk away. Like Paula DeAnda sings "i think about it everyday, it gets so hard to walk away... i will remember you...".

For now, i guess to live & let live, as i always say. I may shout to the world that i know everyone loves me, but i know i don't really care at the end of the day whether everyone does, cos i know i got me myself and i. And of cos, some friends whom i know who's always got my back, rain or shine. And that's all that matters.

Or perhaps you should just move to Boston, where no one knows your name....

Sunday, January 14, 2007

arrival of the princess party diary

As much as i like to brag how i absolutely have no jetlag, everyone but me know it's bullocks. I pretty much slept from 10pm to 8am on the 1st day i touched down. But that's due to the fact i haven't touch a flat bed for some time. How does 32 hours sound? Not everyone has the luxury to fly business class or even first class.

On the 2nd day which so happens to be a Wednesday, that marks the start of the princess' party diary. The boys were obviously disappointed at my return, though i think they are very elated. I didn't put on weight, so they say,... till they checked my butt out. Then they went "woohoo, much bigger", and wonders whether i can balance a pen right at the buttcheek area. Hahaha... So anyways, we went off to Bala for our rounds of drink. And it's just been a fantastic night just listening to what they talk about, and did throughout the time i was away. Then a friend of theirs showed up, and she knew me... back from PL days. So the night continued with meeting more PL girls thereafter at zouk, all by chance. OMG. I don't even want to talk about that further. I did meet with Wenxiong and Jeannie and Angie, who were a comforting sight, i miss them... It was a fantastic night, i made do with very little sleep before i started my thursday....

Thursday was a slow night... Angie and me made a date with Eugene (our sydney-residing friend) to catch up over some coffee, on that cold wet night. It's been raining in Singapore. And everyone's been telling me it has been worse before i came back. So Eugene is my ultimate jinx, as whenever he's back, i will definitely bumped into someone whom i wish i never have to see again. *rolls eyes*, that's another story altogether.

Friday i met u for drinks thereafter at bala. It was a bp with Evan, hung around for coffee, met the girls for dinner... to which we wentlast. I had different groups... my usual boys were there. The girls were there. It's just been very nice to see everyone that matters so much to me, on one night. We didn't just end at Bala... some of the boys and me went down to muddy's for its birthday thingy. We had some interesting stupid silly shots with the wigs they were passing out. I can only tell you, with drinks... we can get pretty silly.... and even more so silly with big orange afro wigs. And you know what, i went home early by 2ish am and it was nonetheless very very fun.

I had plans to make Saturday a quiet day, go home early... sleep early in time for Sunday's breakfast club plans that i made with some friends. But it was not meant to be. I ended up having drinks at some Back-2-School party, and then supper. I actually blacked out, which is a pretty scary thing, at 2am. Very fugging scary. BLAME IT ON JET LAG. I had a good laugh over Barry's nerdy school uniform... stupid fella. It's so silly...

Now, as i type out the blog, i realize i haven't gotten over the jet lag. I've been only barely managing time through. OMG... how delusional i am.
Blame it all on jetlag....
That's it for this week... now get out... and come back another day.


Tuesday, January 09, 2007


So i spent the last few days of my somewhat long trip to the US out in LA. Yea, where i spent a few good years of my life at. And it feels awesome. It's such a rush trip out in LA. I didn't plan on meeting anyone. I did however call up my friend Ted & his wifey Helen, more on our stuff later.

What did i do out in LA? Shop shop shop, eat eat eat, hang out hangout hang out. Damage done on the card, let's just say i don't wanna talk about it. heh heh :P the best is if the bills disappear... doubt that's going to happen.

I spent some time with Ted & Helen out at their apartment, just chatting & catching up. I also went out for drinks with them at K-town. Now soju & yakult is an interesting drink. Way too interesting. Perhaps it should even read : caution when drinking. It's so sweet that it just doesn't hit you till later. Hmmm... It was a fun night... of drinking and eating some korean abalone chauder. I kinda miss them already. Funny how we met each other? And really time flies. Now we're all so different.

Now to pay off the credit card bills.... which i will somehow ... sometime... perhaps with better money management. sigh.....

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy New Year .... a year gone, a new year ahead

For the lot of you out there who think i got wasted through NYE, sorry, but i didn't. The past two weeks back at home in US has been detox. I feel my liver singing "i will survive..."! The time away from alcohol from everyone else from my office has been refreshing. I have more time to think about resolutions and goals and directions for the '07.

I have been spending more time at Super Suppers, helping out in whatever way i can. I may suck at kitchen work, cutting, getting the dough work the right way, chopping stuff up, washing stuff up, and i totally suck at domestic work. But that's me. I can't do kitchen work, cook, clean & sew for whatever reasons. I think i finally come to terms with that. I have started doing a lil' more kitchen work. Be thankful.

I've started to spend more time at home. Spending too much time at malls can be energy-draining. I normally buy more sports stuff & jeans, clothes that i chill in... whenever i am back in US. So it's the same stuff over & over again. So it's far more simple these days. Time to simplify stuff and focus on what i would want to accomplish.

So here goes my New Year's Resolution :
  1. Get into school... (hopefully, if time permits, work permits, etc)
  2. Get a new ride... (hopefully, if i balance my checks properly)
  3. Get fit & toned ... (hopefully, if i manage time wisely)
  4. You know what... this is ridiculous. No need for resolutions. I'll just do what i like, when i like.... and just be Eve.
Happy New Year everyone! Cheers...