Saturday, July 24, 2010

Effective and Efficiency?

This week i spent a whole lot of time in external meetings. I wonder if i walked out having a better idea of what i was to delegate to my staff, or if i even had any understanding at all. What is the right amount of time for a meeting? Does it make effective communication? Does it boost efficiency?

Try six hours. I walked out monday morning, with a whole chunk of work waiting for me. I felt unaccomplished. I walked out none the wiser. I had no idea where to lead the team, nor to plan the next move. I had a similar lengthy meeting on Friday. I felt lost, and demoralized after. I had no questions nor answers, as i do not know what i was to do. No project details were ironed, but only touched on operation issues, which is to issue staff with certain weapons.

My own internal meetings are informal and lighthearted and no more than 30 minutes. Everything i would want to reiterate to my technical crew, i would have summarize and told them.

Having gone through two 6-hour-long meetings, one 3-hour-long meeting and spending more than 60 dollars parking my car in my client's office, enough is enough. A friend said a meeting over 60 minutes isn't effective nor efficient. And i wonder the extent to which i agree. I don't feel the amount of knowledge that i should have.

I think someone need a better agenda, a purpose, a direction.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Of breakups and emotional stress

Before anyone thinks i'm having problems, i am. That is, with work. Emotional, physically, and psychological stress. People control and politics, and skivers, and workers. And i have a less than 100 employees company. I marvel at huge corporations, with massive scaling processes, and wondered how they make millions of dollars and control millions of people. How a successful leader is born, or is that successful leader groomed. Questions that i try to seek answers for, and that might prove too hard to find. I need to walk it to learn it.

Is love like work that questions surround it? I question also on love and its complexity. How much hurt a person can cause, or how much time a person needs to realize love's gone? How does one handle breakup and relationship? Perhaps mom was right, i'm this stone-cold-hearted bitch. I don't believe in too much tears over a man, only over my late father whom i still miss and love dearly. He may have drilled in me that sense of thoughts like a boy, in his few years of life with me. I may be young, but he taught me to dream, taught me not to cry, and told me there's no point crying on things lost. I was made to throw away a toy, being a young toddler, and instructed not to cry. I may have whimpered a little, but that was all i could do. Or perhaps his death might have made me a stronger young woman, through my growing years, devoid of emotions from the taunting of strangers to family.

Or maybe i'm just insensitive and scared of being vulnerable. Tears, to me, are for the weak. And it's always about "i look so good, i look so good without you", so sings Ms Jessie James. I always believe time can always heal the pain, and maintained good friends to the ones i had once loved so much. Yet i wondered why my friends have such a tough time dealing with lost love. I definitely thank God for blessing me with good friends and love. And i pray the same for my friends to open their hearts and minds and to stop crying, cos crying doesn't solve anything. Moving on does.

Today, i'm still in love, with life, with work, and big corporations. And definitely, the man who has silently been my pillar of strength and support. Thank You.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Weight : Fat or Bulk?

I met a friend over lunch some time last week, and he kindly told me that i lost weight, resulting in me having this silly grin to my face that day. Truth be told, even if i have a tough tomboyish front, i have the same insecurities and nonsense any other woman have : my weight issue.

I dislike the fact i have flabby arms, flabby tummy, flabby thighs, flabs everywhere. I took up some sort of yoga-stretching whatchamacallit (alike to yoga, not quite yoga), coupled with my cardio sessions ( one running session and badminton session). And just leaving the rest to God to help me lose weight, through praying. Well that didn't pay off, i believe i was at my tonest during my run-up to Singapore marathon 2009, i should really thank Matthew for that.

I changed my diet, with the amount of flak and bitching the haters came up with. They were all on this no (low) carbohydrates diet : no noodles, rice, etc, and basically plenty of meat and vegetables. I can't deny my love for noodles, the Asian in me needs to have noodles, so i guess i have to just have more vegetables.

But i can't help but wonder, if my weight loss is due to bulk loss, or is it really fat loss? I haven't been exercising, definitely no more crazy swimming, cycling or running sessions. I'm just going about my daily duty and eat regularly. So i have definitely lost some bulk, and some color to my skin. But fats? I am not sure. Hmmm.... Now that gives me the reason to go out and get one of the fancy schmancy weighing machines to check it out. Time to go shopping!

Sunday, July 04, 2010

i TRIed

Those were the words i muttered, when i met Matthew & Danny at the carpark Sunday morning. "i tried...", pointing to my spandex cladded butt and running tank top. I woke up, wrestling with my devil who told me to stay in, on a nice gloomy Sunday morning. The better me won, got dressed and soon found my way on the expressway headed to East Coast Park to go for a run, a 7km run.

Pitter patter, as i watched the sky drizzle on my windshield. The optimism in me said "ahhh, well, the rain is here, but not at east coast park". As i pulled into the carpark, the ground was wet, and weather was gloomy. I asked the guys why they stopped, they noted that it was raining, pointing to the direction i was going to attempt my run.

"Breakfast?" someone said. Ahhhh , sounded like music to my ears. To choose breakfast and the amount of bitching these bunch of guys have, over running on wet tarmac. It's not difficult to wonder which i choose. Afterall, i am Eve, and honestly, i TRIed.

The catching up over breakfast was a refreshing change, and that made me think "it's time to cut the slack, and brush up on 6am runs... " And to honor my commitment to my duo-teammate, Reeves, who was pleasantly surprised i am up that early to try going running.


Over the weekend, i watched two friends attempt their version of a triathlon : swimming 500m (in an umarked distance pool?!? Shady? i think so too), cycling 10k on a stationary bike, and then run on the treadmill over 2.4km. I realized how much i miss the competition and doing a triathlon. I may not be the best, but hey, i tried.

Spending lunch together thereafter was strangely calming and like a breath of fresh air, as if we're all back in Bali, and in holiday. And meeting up again over dinner and movie, and supper has become a standard staple in my life. No complaints there.

i love my weekend :)