I hope you've been well. Everytime i see you smile, it tries to hide the amount of pain you have. The people around you feels it too. But we do not know how to approach it. We're all different when it comes to dealing with pain.
Some of us are not as sensitive or new age. We just shrug it off, and bury ourselves into work. Some of us focus on sports, and try something new. Some turn to spiritual help. Some turn to sappy love songs, to cry it all out. But remember, it's only worth that much tears. You may look back and think how silly it all is... as time goes by. I know i did.
"Time will always heal the pain, bring the sun and drive the rain" so sings Tommy Page, circa 90s? Old song as it is, it speaks of the truth. Then time would erase all bitter memories, and bring about happier ones.
I tried to just switch topic, much as i know you would like to discuss it. To me, the less you carry the topic off that tip of your tongue, the less you will think about it. Perhaps to you, by saying and discussing that pain would allow for more comfort. The topic will always be part of you, but it doesn't have to be now, when the pain is raw and out in the open. It's akin to rubbing salt on it, and just opening it a little bigger.
A friend once sang this song to me when i felt the exact same pain, and here i wish for you to be happy... and to smile again!