Wednesday, June 29, 2005

why blog?

Over dinner table, i was chatting with my 8th grade boy. Yes he's going onto 9th grade, come fall'05. I told him to start a blog. It does somewhat help with writing / creative writing. So i told him that. We were also eyeing the new iPod and the whole Pod casting thing. I was told to start on my pod casting, by Uncle Tim. I looked at him and said i'm going to start with my html on my blog first.

Hmm, so the question is why do i blog?
1) for self gratification
2) to tell the world how i'm doing. MrBrown might prolly hate the term online diary, but more often than not, most blogs turn into online diary.
3) ... hmmm, to vent my frustrations over daily life. I can't be cheerful all the time. I can afford to have my mood swings.

Recently, i followed the mantra " even the best falls down sometimes..."
I might not be the best, but i have done my best in whatever i do... so i can afford my mood swings...
Shucks... !

Saturday, June 25, 2005

What's so AzN abt AzN?

So u think you know it all...yes, you the reader... about AzN?
Ben pointed out the whole chinese-educated Chinese and engrande-educated Chinese. There are differences between them, no questions asked.

I have a couple of friends who are AC boys. Most AC boys would agree your grasp of chinese totally sucks. I can laugh with any statement of mandarin coming out from their mouths. the term AC is only known among the Singaporeans, so bear with us, fellow out of country peeps. I have a couple of friends who are ABC (American Born Chinese), who live & went through the whole US education system and can speak perfect Mandarin / Cantonese and even read chinese papers. But what we're discussing is their mentality being slightly different. Let's compare with some Chinese-educated schooling boys (not gng to name schools, topic is super touchy).

I have dated my fair share of men. I still feel Engrande-educated men are jus that much more belonging to the same wavelength & frequency as me. Sorry i don't date Caucasians ala SPG. I am not that kinda chick. I still go for AzN boys. hahaha... but we need to be on the same level, kinda frequency. i don't know any zhu ying tai story , or some hong lou mong story. That's just way outta my realm, or even san guo yan yi. dammit, i don't even know how to write the chinese characters for the books / stories i have mentioned. I can only do hanyu pinyin. I can't discuss some Dior to a guy who only knows san guo yan yi. U know what i mean???

I realize we finally see eye to eye on something, Ben... hahaha

I love my AzN boys...

So the question again boils to what makes an AzN?

Looks : the hair color (mostly black, now some turned ash like me, or even blonde, brown, whatever), eye color (mostly black, but some turned to blue, green, brown, grey, whatever), skin color (mostly yellowish nude, but some turned tanned or even brown, whatever). Of cos these are jus superficial.

Our food choices : AzN can kick ass in Fear Factor eating cow's balls or pig's intestines. I don't think food choices can qualify as being AzN. I don't eat spare parts. I don't eat a lot of raw food. I love steaks, burgers, rice noodles, etc. Maybe rice noodles can count as being AzN.

I guess it's our parents, heritage and upbringing that qualify us as AzN. Our values are different, tho i beg to differ for some out there. We're just conventional, practical people.

I'm AzN and proud of it. A lil' white washed, but still AzN. I speak mandarin, cantonese and a lil' hokkien, and a lil' SoCal accent to my engrande, but then... i'm not pretentious, i'm just a lil' SoCal chick.

Friday, June 24, 2005

A lil' something me me me...

Got bored while waiting to take a shower... my house in Nashville has 8 people. It's a long wait, tho there are like 4 bathrooms.
So anywayz, i decided to take a quiz, taken off Zeenie, who took it from jasmine gal...

Here it goes :

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Is this all true? Tell me how you guys feel....


Originally uploaded by daftbitch.

So of cos i have spoken all about my love for SoCal, the place i feel right @ home. Was chatting with an old college friend. And he's like you're so SoCal, everything about you is SoCal since college. I'm like "how so". He went "the whole laid back chillout beach kinda girl". Sometimes, i feel if i really am meant for SoCal.

I went Disneyland, which was fun. Got bored in a store, started to hug Eeyore & Pooh softtoys which were so huge, they're like half my height.Yes i'm quite short. 5' 4". Not that tall. But big on personality. Heh heh. Picture as part of my lil' adventure.

I overshopped. Seriously overshopped. But what's new? I always overbuy stuff. I decided to go old skool and went vintage / retro this trip. Everything is jus so old-skool. I love laid back, love old stuff, love being vintagey, without buying really 2nd hand clothes. I love sneakers. I wanna buy tons of them. And flip flops. It jus screams SoCal.

I flew out to Nashville this morning. I'm now out in Nashville, Tennessee. Often i get asked what's out here in TN. Seriously, there's so much to do, if you only bother to look & drive. I will post pictures of my lil' crazy trip out in TN. I managed to meet my cousins Julian & Dylan who are growin up fast. Julian's haircut is so cute. I will post pictures soon. MSN me if u want pictures' link. Hahaha, there's a certain degree of privacy i would wanna keep.

Will blog more in time to come....


Monday, June 20, 2005

California ...

Ok. current location : Torrance , California.

yes i have finally decided i need a break out back @ my old home LA. And i totally love it. Torrance's located in SoCal , LA area. The beach areas. It's a peaceful lil' town... about 30 mins drive to Beverly Hills. The weather's kinda cold, apparently about 65 degrees fahrenheit, which is about 18 degrees celsius, i think. Which is totally weird. Cos it's summer, mid june and supposedly to be really hot.

I haven't done damage to my wallet yet. At least NOT yet. I have only gotten a few tops and a pair of vans sneakers. I know i know, very old skool. It makes me feel i'm 16 again. Yes 16... not 18, cos i am 18. ;) right, guys?

I actually feel very relaxed in LA. Funny kinda feeling. It's so wundafull out here. Makes me kinda wonder why i left in the 1st place. The feeling is jus undescribable. I don't know where to start.

I met up with some old friends. people change, feelings change. You can't bring back what's lost. You can't repair the feeling gone. You can't really turn back the time. You kinda jus wish your friends all the best and wish them well. It's sad, but that's the kinda thing a gurl gotta. What to do? A gurl's gotta do what a gurl's gotta do. We used to have so much fun... during college days, where life is just so carefree. Now i guess with work comes responsibility, along with age. You win some, you lose some...

Thanks to Ted, Vincent, Jeanette, Wynette & Family. It's been gr8 so far. And i love you guys... for being part of my life.

Monday, June 13, 2005

when love & hate collides

I'm not just referring to the Def Leppard song "when love & hate collides".
Many things blew up in my face today. And so far it's not very pretty.

Sometimes, when love breaks down, hate starts to seep in.The whole love & hate collides. Is this a way women handle such rejection / dejection / depression from the way the relationship ends up? Some women jus have a love hate relationship with their other half.

I always choose to walk away, once i sense a hostility or coldness. Is this a way women handle rejection / dejection / depression from the way the relationship ends up? I am not being a coward, neither am i running away. I'm just trying to take a few steps back and look at the bigger picture in life. And wonder whether it's worth it. Whether u're the party involved or indirectly involved, it's always good to slow down and take a look. And of cos, do calculations of whether it's worth it.

I'm a pretentious, poker-faced liar. Is this a way women handle rejection / dejection / depression from the way the relationship ends up? i try to be neutral and level headed, as much as possible. Women generally take sides. I don't. I try to listen to all parties and draw my own conclusions. I'm pretentious and multi-facade because no one's really true.

Right now, i just hate being where i am.
I'm so glad i'm gng to States.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

dry weekend.... errr, think again

Kimbo, Angie and me all agreed on a bloody dry week. 1stly cos Angie's still canoodling in the sun / MBK / jatjujak out in Bangkok for half a week (thurs to sun). 2ndly, cos i am falling really sick. As i blog, the phelgm is pissing me totally off. I am coughin and sneezing. How bad is that?

Of cos the week doesn't turn out to be this way, never ever say that. Chingy my sista actually told me "this week will become next week, next week become next next week. It will never happen". But IT WILL. I'm flying off to States with my sista and mommy. For a frigging abt 3 weeks,... till 5th July. One thing's for sure : with mommy following, there's zero drinks tolerance. So there... my catching up on sleep and of cos, not drinking is gonna happen soon, much sooner than expected.

So wednesday night (a coupla nights ago), i decided to boogie my ass down to zouk. Before you guys ewwww me on the whole mambo thing, i wasn't inside zouk. I was just at winebar, sipping my choice of poison: martell green tea. I left by 2am, so that i can get enuf sleep to send Angie to Airport on Thursday morning at 6.30am.

Fast forward Thursday... had a tough day at work. totally pissed off with some colleagues. but what to do? life must go on. So i told myself must sleep tonight, am very grouchy. But of cos, my dear Kimbo has his Club Momo thingy to go to. And dragged my lil' ass down. I had fun, no doubt. Still wondering why i got super tired / drunk.

Friday decided to be good and stay in... at least for a while... I had to drive to Batu Pahat (in Malaysia) for some installation project. I fulfilled the workload. And came back by 5pm. Rested...and chilled out with some friends... the tall ones. hahaha... and then decided to go Zouk again. Somehow i have this feeling the word Zouk will appear in my blog umpteen times. My sista was there, so it's cool. And i was jus totally chilled out mode. Maybe because it's too overdrive already. My body is telling me to slow down my pace, while i feel i need to jus speed things up.

I really didn't do much on Saturday... A pity, cos i felt so sick... i still feel sick now... but really sick. I slept the entire day away, only awake at 2pm - 4pm and from 9.30pm till now. I guess it's a clear sign my dry weekend was totally busted. But what to do? i still have to go on...

hmmmm... mr. goh called me at 6.30am, wondering whether i am ok. Kimbo dropped his phone in my car. Things are gonna get more exciting. Dammit. hahahaha... it's 7am, and i'm friggin sleepy... lights out for me.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Powerpuff Girls --- Blossoms

I'm Blossoms...

Blossom - According to the closing credits' theme song, Blossom is "commander and the leader" of the Powerpuff Girls. The most intelligent and intellectual one of them all, she comes up with most of the plans to defeat the villains. She has very long red hair. At times she can be bossy but she always finds a way to keep her sisters from fighting each other. Her element is everything nice.

Hahaha, this makes me crack up. I was chatting with Angie over powerpuff girls... and suddenly she went "yea u're blossoms..." and then our all time quintessential male bitch Dave makes Buttercup. Of cos Angie declares herself as Bubbles cos she claims she's sweet. Whatever man Whatever! *does the Whatever jiggy* We all changed our nicks on MSN, sans Dave. I mean, he's your alpha male, hell no way, he would change his nick to "I am Buttercup" for the sake of two chickies. But two pretty cute Chickies??? i am sure he would. Dave, fugging prove your affirmative response to your sexuality.... and prove that you're very sure of your manhood... change the nick to "I am Buttercup".

p/s : while blogging, Dave actually proved to me he is very sure he's a man, and put his nick to "i am Buttercup". Bravo & kudos to him.... now ... that's really really weird...

I had coffee with a couple of friends last night. And boy, my stomach muscles are totally tightening up. I am getting abs just from laughing darn hard. Are guys THAT clueless about fashion? it's so darn funny. Well, I’ll let Angie have the pleasure of blogging abt it. Hahahaha and cheeselike wedge shoes??? And of cos,… the beef regards to mango sales. Hahahahaha