seeking validation from others?

Did anyone read Sumiko Tan's article in Sunday Times' Life section titled Me Myself and I this past weekend? And how she talked about not depending on others to make yourself happy and the seeking of validation from others? And to seek happiness from yourself alone?

I sat down on the cold rainy Sunday afternoon and pondered whether i've constantly seeked validation of my existence : how many people really loved me or adored the ground i walk on. I often and still do tell people that they must love me. And i know everyone loves me. And i go around telling people that i know they love me. Is that a sign of the needyness of validation?

At the end of the day, i know it doesn't matter to me who loves me. We all need friends. As the article mentions (if i recall correctly) that "good quality relationships are vital to one's well being, very alike to vitamins helping us through tough times and sustaining us daily". But that school of thought is also challenged with the need to decipher between toxic relationships from the non-toxic ones. Perhaps one day i should sit and ponder who deserves my time / my love / my affections a lil' more than others.

Angie my bestie has said that her new year's resolution is to simplify, to get rid of the toxics in her life, and spend time with people who matters most. The thing i question is how do you know if the person matters most and how this person can be made a good friend, when all of us started out as Hi-Bye friends, and only churn out meaningful great fantastic friendships through time and test? I think i'll stick to my usual routine of knowing more people.

So the need to seek validation from others, in my opinion, is found within ourselves, whether we really choose to embrace it or ignore it. Everyone knows if you do not care about me, you're probably not worth my time. But when you have chose relationships that you have thought to matter to you, you have to set yourself up for disappointment, and sometimes it gets so hard to walk away. Like Paula DeAnda sings "i think about it everyday, it gets so hard to walk away... i will remember you...".

For now, i guess to live & let live, as i always say. I may shout to the world that i know everyone loves me, but i know i don't really care at the end of the day whether everyone does, cos i know i got me myself and i. And of cos, some friends whom i know who's always got my back, rain or shine. And that's all that matters.

Or perhaps you should just move to Boston, where no one knows your name....