Guess what? I met up with a guy... that i talked abt on my 12th Dec Blog. yes ... himmmm... Ryan. Hahaha, it's amazing how we managed to sit & talk like we talk on comp. it's so nice to meet him again and to hug him. I realized i do miss him and his surfer dude attitude. totally hilarious. We had coffee. Cos i suppose that's all we have time for. It's nice, warm, and jus so nice to sit by him. And to watch him tell me how materialistic and a bitch and a crazy woman i am. He is now officially with a Mrs Ryan. I'm shocked, didn't expect it so soon. But feel really really xtremely happy for you, dude. I asked when we'll meet again. his reply : don't know.

I seem to have lost a lot of friends through marriage & immigration. I suppose that's the trend when the age comes around. Everyone with their Mrs. I guess it's time to let them go, we can't always sit around, laugh and lug our arms around each other like die-hard buddies. We've grown. Time to get our groove onto other stuff : family, & Mrs & possibly Kids.

I've seem to tell all my male buddies that i would need a pagekid or two. Hahaha, and they kept joking that they aren't planning kids. I smiled and said "yea right... wait till the missus said so."

I was questioned these days about my choice of leaving the guy i considered my First love( serious relationship). I believe there's no turning back once decisions are made. I am not regretting my move. So smile, brace yourself for new things ahead. Afterall, you must have made the decision because of factors, right? I hope he's taking to it well. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just felt it would be better for us in the long run. I need to fall & learn to take things on my own. I need to be me. Don't worry. I'll be fine. I hope you will take care of yourself, and prepare for the world ahead of you. I know you're stressed, i know you're upset. It's temporary. Someone better will come along. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me who i am today.

To a New Year Ahead.... CHEERS EVERYONE! 2003 has been a pretty rough year. Cheers to a good life and a smashing new year...

Christmas has passed. It's been a week.

I think Holidays is always the time u think about the past, the love, everything. I had a friend tell me about her misery with love. It's sad. It's a "i love you, but i can't be with you" thing. It's a feeling that's hard to deny of its existence. perhaps time can heal the pain, perhaps time can make everything alright, i've heard a lot abt time being the greatest worker of all. how long should the time be before a couple comes to terms with reality? I really wonder... I can't really console her. I don't know what to say, where to start. I realized that many ard me are lucky in love ...Yet some are jus hiding behind their cheerful disposition. Is it all just a facade? Why can't ppl be more real?

The New Year is approaching. I seem to have a 101 things on my mind. it's so messed up. Work is really taking a toll on me. sighhhh... some ppl have all the luck. where's mine?

Resolutions for Year 2004... to be announced soon... AKAN DATANG !

Ok... the weekend has passed.
Mr. Eugene Heng, congrats and finally having found Mrs. Eugene Heng.

Now, all my friends will start swarming me with wedding invites, wedding receps, dinners... oh goodness. Sigh... am i bound to stay on the shelf? Being a singleton has its perks : freedom, men, freedom, men, freedom, men. Of course, being together as a couple has its perks : cuddling, love, cuddling, love.

Spending time at weddings... i came to realize ... actually being attached or with someone commited is a pretty good thing. Especially when weddings are so close to Christmas. it's perhaps one of the most sweetest & heart warming ... you are in awe of the whole aspect of it. a couple in love... and the nice warmth of holiday season.

Well... no charming guys to report about. hahaha... i had fun with a bunch of cheesey grown ups, which is really rather funny, cute, amusing...
Mebbe crazy friends are like that....

It's Friday yet again. WooHoo! Words can't describe how happy i am or truly is. It's amazing.

I came back from Thailand on Monday. Since then, it's been hectic at work.
The weekend in Thailand ... is truly amazing. Met with Dennis, Sanford, Boat... and the rest of Pin's family. It's been a year since my brother left us (dennis, sanford & me).... sometimes when i think of him, i can't help but feel down & depressed. I had a fun weekend, it was fun,... lying around, and talking to my brothers, who's been there for me through it all. They're the best.

Anywayz... i'm actually now chatting with a guy i used to like, when i was in secondary school. This guy is megawatt charming. i'm going to be his kid's godmother. Everytime i think of him, it brings a smile onto my face. Our story of Fate brought us to know each other is so amazing... it always brings a twinkle to my face. The good ol' memories. We've known each other ... for 8 years... ok, if you count knowing names, it's about 6 years... and we've been out only ONCE. yes, we don't have the privilege like others to have coffee or tea or dinner... like friends do. We only managed to go out ONCE. Still... it's memorable. One of those dates you'll never forget.

U live ... and you love. Sometimes, being friends is good enough. You don't have to be lovers. For all you know, you guys break up and don't talk to each other. Be content with being friends.

Alright... it's Thursday. I know... a lil' weird for me to post my blog. I'm leaving for Thailand tomorrow for the weekend. It's been a year since my "brother" passed away. A lil' sad, a lil' nostalgia about the entire string of events. I wonder how things will be like when i meet the rest of my "brothers" this year...

I went to sing karaoke with Wendy & Pris on Monday. yea, we went wacky, sang out of tune. I sang out of tune on purpose. Before i hear your "YEAH RIGHT", i really did, my throat felt horrid & dry. We had a fantastic & cheap dinner, no less.

Tuesday : hmmm... what did i do? nothing... i work OT. :( sigh...

Wednesday : ... ohhhhh, hmmm... ahhhhh, nothing again.

I came to realize my work week is very boring. In fact, ultra boring.
Oh well... a weekend in Thailand shld be pretty exciting. i really wish so...
we'll see...
watch out for my post... come Tuesday...

I realized that this week has been a blast. Yea... !

Monday night : Equinox drinking away. Kinda interesting. Hated the martinis, the test tubes were ok, the wine & champagne were a lil' overwhelming. At least i didn't hurl. Funny how my own gfs could sleep in that environment. Then again, it's pretty nice being on top of everything else in Singapore.

Tuesday : still can't believe i slept the entire day, except Breakfast with friends. I slept through the day... yes the entire day. Unbelievable.

Wednesday : work, boring, work, boring. caught Master & Commander, very typical epic film. draggy at times, but still love it.

Thursday : hmmmm... what did i do? hmmmmmm.... oh yea, drank with leslie at brewerkz. the beer is cool, but i got tipsy. Hahaha, told u guys that it was a drinking week. Ok, let's have strawberry beer the next time round, alright?

Today's Friday. And i have NO plans. Anyone wants a hot date with me? *winkz* gawd, i think i am cute...

Ok... it's Monday Again... Oh dratz, i forgot to pay for my CC bills, as per usual. Shit ... ! :P Did i also mention today's a public holiday eve? woohoo... fun fun fun... mebbe go clubbin or drink

I had a funny weekend. Make that really really weird.
It was pouring on Friday night, yea,... there was somewhat a storm. Basically driving around with a friend, commenting how dumb certain idiots were, speeding and trying to kill themselves in the process. Next i know... this bike braked so hard it skidded across the street. Long story. next thing i know, i see ppl on the street. And i was so shocked, stunned, surprised. My friend got off the car to help the people out.

Saturday : hmmm... stoning mode ON. I stayed in to play .... yea, me play games ... xbox. it gets boring after a while... so i jus slept, woke up, ate, play games... and ended up at night at Holland V bitching with Jeannie... abt some guys sitting away from us who were scrutinizing every women they see walking by with lewd comments... I find it appalling how men can do that. it's so disgusting. And totally sucked. Do they expect women to say the same stuff about them, stuff like look at those tight asses and flabby asses and how they move? :P grow up, boys, grow up.

Sunday : spent time with mom & grandma... walkin around Orchard. Tiring! Of course, it helps that i bought some junk home... :)

Ok... so basically i sat down & think what have i done the entire week. and came to this conclusion : NOTHING. I really don't know what went on ... and jus surf through the week.

Friday night was fab. I had a great time with my gfs (wendy & pris) .. we really drank till me & pris were totally high & jumpy & giggly... the full werks of highness... hahaha, to the guy i pinched, SORRY. hahaha, u had yourself to blame for getting me redbull vodka. I totally hated that drink.

Had a blardy hangover on Sat morning... had to pick myself up to meet friends for test drive of cars... I frankly like the new colt. Yes all ur buggers out there who are now messaging me via icq or msn with the words "WTF" ... it's cute, it's me, it's lovely, it's me. I like it. so shuddup fools.

Saturday night... went to Movies in the Park with some friends. Lovely weather, thank goodness.. no mosquitos. It was jus plain romantic & lovely.
ON the whole ... weekend was lovely... it's all i can recall anywayz.
The next week's gonna be maniac... tons of work for the first two days. gotta face some MUSIC for the next three... awwww... shit ...

More details on my fun-filled weekends :) till then...

it's the season of singletons. Yes... the swingin singles. The topic on many's minds... recently. It's like the season & trend to be single. Back to kissing frogs... my friends !
The season seems to come hand in hand with the party season...: Christmas & New Year.

I've drawn out plans for the year end. Jus praying it would come earlier.
A lil' sick of doing mundane work all day, stuck in the air con environment, faced with machines.
I think i got a lil' way more bimbo nowadays... seemingly lost my mind along the way of work.
I need to like let go & jus head out to reboost my energy.

urghhhhh ! Bleahhhzzzz :P i need the weekends... and it's only Monday now..

I hardly blog everyday. It's just not me.

My friend was telling me abt my kissing frogs. isn't it true? Most girls wanna find a prince charming. Yet ... how do u define a prince charming? Drives a fancy beeemer, earning 5 digit paycheck, splurges on Gucci & Pradas for ya. It reminds me of a story of how the girl could spend 9 yrs and close to getting married ... to be with a guy ... jus for money. Only to have him find out abt it... and ended up trashing her ass. Oh well... :P

Love is simple, pure... of cos ...sometimes love just ain't enough. I appreciate your patience, and your ever so trusting love. I really do. And it makes me appreciate & cherish ya even more. we jus need more time to overcome hurdles, which we have discussed.

I'm an assertive individual (well KIND OF) ... i got what i want. I'm happy. I always look forward, never backwards. It's just stoopid to look back. And don't look back in anger. It ain't worth it.

My Himbo friend's gf is back in Singapore. I'm supposed to disappear :P ... eh dood, i will so get u for ditchin me. Btw, i am doin fine, in case you're wondering. I have plenty of gfs to sit beside me through my ordeal. A lil' history : himbo & me are college mates, so we sorta understand each other, & talk abt our peers... hahaha, but we're too brotherly. no chemistry.

In life... we kiss a lot of frogs... to get a prince charming. Well, i thought i found my prince, but now i'm back to kissing frogs. Sometimes, life is unexpected. U never know what you're gonna get. It's the amazing way things grow & change... that never ceases to make me stand and jus chill and look.

It's Sunday. Yes 12th October.
A week has passed. My life has gone through a whole emotional roller coaster, from anguish, to frustration, to pain, to happiness, joy, laughter, peace & love.

i had a long talk wif a friend on Friday night, sitting in the garden at my house. It was fun, cheers to my mate! thanks for lending me your shoulder to pour my sorrows, frustrations & anguish to. And thanks for that big ol' hug... it's amazing how i could actually talk to u, considering our v. superficial friendship (yes... we do not know each other v. well but there's a certain bubble of "i know ya for a long time" there). I figured what i want.... yet i could tell ya that the whole what i want crap turned sour on saturday. But alloe mate, Sorry i couldn't make it out to party with ya tho. SORRY!

Saturday went by ... quik... and fast. Finally got to watch Powerpuff girls cartoon. Yea, a SMS woke me up. Went for coffee with some friends in the afternoon. And u know what absolutely disgusting happen? I'm constantly getting harrassed by the wrong guy. And yet this guy told some other guy who dunno me that i am calling him constantly. LIKE DUH?!? Come on, i have way way better taste than that. Perhaps the guy should jus take a piss and take a good look of himself. so CMI! I'm so not the type who will like that kind of guy. I'm not a bimbo, neither am i stupid. So take a hike... !
i guess i'm blessed with a good bunch of gfs... we went for dinner and thereafter joined another grp of gfs for coffee (i think i am ODing on coffee sessions) and a long talk while sitting in my car talkin about marriage, life in general.

I went for a long drive in the middle of the night... read : long drive. It was semi-mindless, just talkin to a friend. a friend that i barely knew for two weeks... i mean i know this guy for a long time, but never had a chance to sit down and talk. As i drove on... it felt as tho nuttin needs to be said, just sit and watch the road and let our worries jus disappear along the vast length of roads. Jus wanna tell you i really enjoy your company. Don't worry about anything. If you need someone to listen, i'm here, since most of the time, you figure out half the things yourself. Heh heh :) i guess the love of cars brought us together. perhaps i could get one of those cars soon. hahaha, but then again with skills like mine, i better stay off the road... and let you drive me around instead. cheers!

Hope the next week turns out well. sigh.... i hate weekdays, i need a break from work, from everything in sight. i jus wanna chill the whole way through.

Ok, the timing on the Blog thing is fished up... so basically it's 7pm on a friday night. YEA! FRIDAY night...! the weekend is here... breathe baby... breathe! so what are the plans for the weekend?
prolly gonna jus stick ard ... and chill. OOOOooHHhh yeah.
I had coffee with a friend today... and it's jus the nice warm feelin of being back in skool, the ultimate bitch talk... abt guys , love life (or the lack thereof..) , and u know, the usual bimbo stuff. Heck yea, we're bimbos... but we dun take HIMBOs for bfs...doh

Song of the day : Baby Boy by Big Brovas...

Such a relief. Half the hard work is all done. Rest of the week, catch up w/ the world. I finally gotten my appetite back, gotta feast, bring on the junk, bring on the good food, bring on sushi...
At an event today, this lady thought i'm like 26? I stared and started laughing and said "right. u're so smart..." Eeks, it's soooo PR... but then, life's like that...

I feel so happy... weekend is around the corner! I can sleep in, do what i like, hang out with friends, chill... sit at the beach and jus smile. Hmmm, i think i shld go tanning, if the weather cooperates. Now to find a date? Who wants a hot date with moi? *winkz* i promise ya more than fun.... heh heh :) if u know what i mean...

:( urgh... i am pissed off. 1) This ad guy was supposed to come and then called to cancel 20 mins after supposed appt. I got so pissed, i wrote an email statin we are no longer engaging his services. 2) i lost an item which belonged to my client... worse thing : the item is no longer in circulation. how am i to replace it? so pissed with myself (funny but true....) 3) too much shit on table resultin in me being v. pissed off. Urgh... when will these ever end?
damn...

As i was saying, TODAY IS JUST NOT MY DAY... urgh... someone save me pls :( !

:)

goodness... my office is in shambles today. It's Monday... sigh, the blues. Lookin forward to the weekends. Then again, there's no date or wotsoever. Hmm, then what the fish am i lookin fwd to? but i will be headin out for a drink with my college mate... dun worry, no sparks will fly... it's just impossible !

I'm in love... yea, with cars. I need to let go of some pent-up anger, frustration, and just be myself. It makes my friends sit up and wonder why i suddenly love to drink / party. I just wanna find the bitch in me again, and not some corporate straight talking lady dressed in suits. at 23... it's abt loving life, and livin it up. Tho this might never get me the best guys in the world (quiet, shy individual... smart, intellectual, witty, charming, humorous & nice) . I reckon some day someone will pass me by.

as for now... i do feel i should be left alone, enjoy the quietness of my freedom and being me.

Right... it's like friggin 1.45am. I finally got to blog. Yes, my 1st blog. Hahaha... ok, what did i do this weekend? nothing extremely exciting. I did start clubbin since thursday... to celebrate my "zhong hua de" friend's birthday... for two nights. How Xtreme is that?!? All are jus as fun, tho friends don't neccessary agree but that's jus them. heck, i have fun almost anywhere. ahaha, except home. Yea...