I realized that time has really flown greatly. I am no longer the 18 year old that i can claim. My friends are getting married; my relatives are getting married. I've been attending wedding dinners for three weekends in a row. Gawd! Is it a sign that i should get married too?
Another sign came when a close friend sent me an sms regards to pragmatism and love. I have always been a very pragmatic person; realism over the undefinable things in life such as love. Between love & bread, of cos it would be nice to have a balance. I have always felt women are generally a materialistic bunch, me included. And never once looked at men being materialistic. I don't think i am materialistic, i think i'm being realistic. All i want is a roof over my head ( a real roof, not just an ordinary ceiling with neighbors trottering their feet & drilling their walls at 9am on a saturday morning), a car (let's just say i can't drive a Kia), and of course, my handbags & shoes. Am i unrealistic to ask for a man who can pay the expenses of my kids & my roof? I can jolly well pay for my car & my fashion garbs. But the ideal is spending more time with my kids, than to go out and work. Isn't that what men would want their women to do?
Oh, we do have to stop at the line of the whole Male Chauvinist Pig, versus the Feminist. I don't deny i am feminist... and my theme song is prolly "Independent Women". I dislike having to follow through rules set forth by men of their ladies. Like duh?!? I too have earning power, why should i subject to the fact that you want me to keep mum over your requests of scrub the bathroom floors or following your mom to the market? Then again, some friends would think the song "Gold Digger" works way better for me.
Whatever the case is, i am realistic. But men... should never be. So how do men search for the one? Is it out of sheer attraction? Physical attraction? Emotional attraction? It has been brought to my attention that more and more men out there are choosing their brides based on their earning power and willingness to contribute to the household income. Well, that's something new to me. Totally blasted my Traditional view of a family (men pay, we take care of kids ideology) out of the window. I have always thought they would choose someone they are happy with, regardless of the girl's background. I know, certain pre-req must be met, like equal or lower educational background, doesn't do drugs or drink abusively, doesn't abuse husbands (i am guilty of being abusive to my other half. heheheh). But i guess i was wrong when someone told me otherwise that it just doesn't mean you make me laugh the hardest equate to me wanting to marry you, there's a lot more.
A friend told me he has two choices between two girls. Yes he loves both chicks, what a slut he is. Ok, moving along, it's between someone who makes a "perfect wife", has a stable career and job, will do most stuff for him, and then another one who's more offbeat, down to earth yet atas (high class, for those who don't know), street smart, energetic and initiate stuff. That is just heaven & earth comparison, to him that is. And he doesn't know where to start. Who does he turn to? The pragmatic slut me. That term was coined by him for me, cos i'm so realistic about everything. I always thought the term of financial stability doesn't work for most men. They all want a trophy wife. The wife that is sweet to the parents, yet a wild child when with them. Nothing of a financial sort. So when more of my friends told me yes they want to look for someone who's more financially independent, i sat there stunned and dumbfounded. Money Money Money. Not just that, the wife has to be hot. This is the time that calls me to scream " SIMI SAI... ai lui ma ai hot... SIMI SAI". Oh did i also forget to mention polishness is a must? No swearing, being an absolutely darling to his family & friends. Throw in a good cook & cleans the house, without even bitching a bit. Goodness, how the hell am i going to meet up to the requirements set forth by men these days?
Ohhh ... so much for my happy ending.
Do they even have as much of what women want, to begin with? Hmmm, notes to ponder.
Anyone with alternate views?
Trading Up (From 2010-2020) In A COVID-19 World
3 years ago
24 comments:
You are 18?
I always thought you are 16!
Dang, girl!
So you are ok with wanting just a man who can provide everything, let you get fat on his money and also buy the 100 pairs of shoes a week. But if a man wants a wife who can help out in bearing the financial load of running a family, they are being unrealistic ? Wow, just wow.
And how is a man going to meet up to your requirements these days? You're definitely still too young to get married.
No offense.... but you are the reason why I swear off local girls from my life. Never had a local gf since years back....
And I thank God for that!
Ps: I have all the 5 Cs most girls are looking for.
You have every right to expect to be treated like a princess of course. In fact, I think Prince Charming (the real ones whom we need to bow to) will line the red carpet and welcome you to Tai Tai Hood. On a horse carriage. Tomorrow.
Heh.
Eeks. I do fall into one of the categories - the stable career one. Only that I'm not paid much nor can I cook.
Which one are you?
I wonder which one your friend will choose... More girls in a man's life is just trouble. Same goes vice versa.
I believe you have just exposed the reason why ur friends are married and why u have been attending weddings for the past few weekends and why you are not the bride. If girls like u are being realistic, why can't guys be realistic as well? Do try to understand guys more and get over the fence to understand. Seating on your own side of the fence will lead you to no where. I have friends who are married and those who are not, i saw those who are happily married and why they are happy till today. Hope you can see the reason that they are happily married. By the way, the clock's ticking already........
I think the shift in guys looking for financially independent girls that can equally pay towards the household is very true.
You are right in pointing out that the traditional idea of guys bringing home the bread, and girls staying at home to look after the kids, is now very rare. At least the last time when guys paid for the house/kids, the girl can still cook, do housework, laundry, look after kids, etc. Now, if girls still expect guys to foot the bill, while they can't cook, wants the guy to help with the housework, laundry and kids, spends their money on handbags and shoes (which the guys don't give a damn), then the "value" of girls has really depreciated (what's left? looking pretty?).
Anyway, I'm sure that guys don't mind financially supporting girls if they still could. With the shift towards equality of sexes, girls having equal opportunities (maybe more) at the workplace, guys no longer have the "unfair" career opportunities and pay that they used to get. And with all the well-paying marketing-type jobs dominated by girls, guys relegate themselves to the low-paying engineering-type jobs, so you can see where this is heading.
Good luck finding your "one", i'm sure there's bound to be a few of those still around (try rich investment bankers at Raffles Place looking for trophies)
Typical hypocritical Singaporean type girl. I just see a list of demands and nothing on what you can offer.
fyi, the word 'atas', while having the meaning 'up' in the malay language, also happens to be slang-speak for 'high-class'. :)
cheers.
Guess what? I am all willing to share financial burden and responsibility but got buffed for being too feminist. I could just be offering it to the wrong person!?
Well, i guess everything is revolutionized already. Girls want so much, guys want a lot too. Anyway, u can set yr requirements and others can set theirs too. And somehow, if both match, you get a wedding. Maybe.
I am revolted by your thoughts and ideas. Was your rambling entry truly a reflection of what you feel or simply words to provoke in the hope to attract attention to the pathetic existence of your blog?
Firstly, "I have always felt women are generally a materialistic bunch, me included. And never once looked at men being materialistic. I don't think i am materialistic, i think i'm being realistic"
Someone who understands her, please decode what she just meant?
She's materialistic (like most women, as she alleges) and then she doesnt think she is. Instead, lo and behold, she thinks she's realistic?
Ah?
"I don't deny i am feminist... and my theme song is prolly "Independent Women"."
Well, good on you girl. Except, I think you dont know what a feminist means and what it entails. Your shock at the fact that a man might want someone who is "more financially independent" bewilders me too. What's wrong w a man wanting all of those when you want someone who can pay for your shoes, and God knows what else, a car tt's not a KIA, etc.
Finally, in response to "how the hell am i going to meet up to the requirements set forth by men these days?"
Let's just say with this posting of yours, no man in the right frame of mind wld honestly consider you.
Be provocative if you have to. Except some brains along with it, would help.
Btw, I'm sorry for being too harsh. You're 18? Explains. (Shit, and im harsh, again, wasnt I?)
i think she said in the first sentence that she can't claimed to be 18 anymore. which means she's older. go figure.
sigh maybe she's just daft
Alright.. I dun even know why I bothered to read this.. my friend just emailed me, stating "worth reading".. But after reading, I felt so ashamed being the same female species! I dislike materialistic women. Thank goodness I am not local.. lol, its really scary what singaporean girls think these days. I believe love is the ultimate reason why you marry your guy, not becos he has money. No wonder so many singaporean guys have to marry vietnamnese or china wife.. and so many singaporean women are single even at 35!! I doubt even if you found your ideal man, he would even want you, unless you have a model figure and a pretty face and a good personality, which I think you have failed already. Grow up girl.. seek for love not money..
im a educated, still attractive mother of 2. i chose to be a stay-at-home mum ever since my 1st pregnancy. i teach them, care for them and give them all my love. on top of all these, i took real good care of my husband and shower him with love. to lighten his burden, i chose to live in a 4-rm HDB flat and sold away our merc for a nissan. but, i never felt so contented before in all my single life, searching for "high" life. i am so fortunate, and a total god's gift to have all my love ones with me. its been 9yrs, and we are still so in love and happy.
you know your problem, girl??? you are so so so so childish.
I dun tink u are any much older than I am, bt I certainly can distinguish between realistic and materialistic. Why must a roof cant b an HDB? Does a ceiling in an HDB flat leaks? Or does it allow more sun to shine through that cause u so much distress you must have a roof? Is Kia nt a car? Does it nt run on petrol and is being driven ard? Can a branded car lessen the chance of an accident happening?
Yes, Sporean does pursue 5C, Car and House is arguably realistic. Bt expensive car and house IS materialistic.
From your post, plenty of tell tale signs that you are spoilt, childish and taking things for granted.You are definately immature for your age, wadever age you are. Needs a good spanking like the childish spoilt kid you are.
Say wad you want, bt dun drag the whole of Singaporean women in.
you know what i think?
i think men want to marry stupid women. (think rainie yang-type women... who smile sweetly when yelled at, who have no opinion to speak of... you get the idea)
and you know what?
after that, these same men, who relish the idea of having wives who are merely doormats, will simply leave their tropies at home while they go out and look for someone else who is smarter, spicier, and a little more fun to be with.
ie: men need two women in their lives - one to marry, the other to fuck.
Hey girl,
Reality check. Unless you have
1) smouldering, sexy model looks with a gorgeous body
2) incredibly funny and charming personality
It's not worth buying you a BMW, or putting you up in a bungalow.
And if 1), the guy just wants you for sex. When you turn 40, he's gonna look for a younger woman.
If 2).. you won't be writing this, um, un-charming article.
So, you better remember
1) money is not everything
2) an emotionally fulfilling, high-quality relationship is more important
3) don't be a lazy ass
All these cowards who leave anonymous comments. Sigh. So common and so depressing. Why are locals always like that when it comes to voicing out their true views?
Daftbitch, I agree with what you said. I don't feel that there's anything particularly wrong with wanting to stay home with the kids and still want a car and new clothes/shoes/bags. Men want us to look presentable and "hot", don't they? In any case, many men themselves also want cars.
Of course before the kids come along we'll be ok with saving up some cash, so that when we eventually stay home long-term, it'll slightly ease off the guy's burden. Isn't it?
I agree with you all the way lah. I don't care what my friends say, and my hubs is entirely ok with it. So I guess it just boils down to who you finally marry. Love can be quite blind, if you believe in it, that is. :)
Poor daftie... didn't realize you were getting so much flack for this :P
FWIW, I think there are some things people think in their hearts but are just not willing to voice out for fear of not being PC.
I guess those of us who know her in real life know her to know why she rambles :)
FWIW (to all the critics who don't know her but still feel obliged to level all these criticisms at her), she has her own car.. she buys her own drinks.. buys her own fancy branded luxuries (which for the life of me, I can never quite fathom) from her not that meagre but not overly abundant paycheck, and not depending on a guy. And her savings put mine to shame despite my longer years of tenure and a bigger paycheck every month *OH THE SHAME!!* :(
Anywaysss....
You go grrrril :)
I guess for the rest of us, you have to walk a mile in her shoes (though most of us would get blisters fitting in hers) to understand where she's speaking from.
Hang in there, kiddo.
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