All i wanna do is to see you smile...

Dear friend,

I hope you've been well. Everytime i see you smile, it tries to hide the amount of pain you have. The people around you feels it too. But we do not know how to approach it. We're all different when it comes to dealing with pain.

Some of us are not as sensitive or new age. We just shrug it off, and bury ourselves into work. Some of us focus on sports, and try something new. Some turn to spiritual help. Some turn to sappy love songs, to cry it all out. But remember, it's only worth that much tears. You may look back and think how silly it all is... as time goes by. I know i did.

"Time will always heal the pain, bring the sun and drive the rain" so sings Tommy Page, circa 90s? Old song as it is, it speaks of the truth. Then time would erase all bitter memories, and bring about happier ones.

I tried to just switch topic, much as i know you would like to discuss it. To me, the less you carry the topic off that tip of your tongue, the less you will think about it. Perhaps to you, by saying and discussing that pain would allow for more comfort. The topic will always be part of you, but it doesn't have to be now, when the pain is raw and out in the open. It's akin to rubbing salt on it, and just opening it a little bigger.

A friend once sang this song to me when i felt the exact same pain, and here i wish for you to be happy... and to smile again!

我無法幫妳預言
委曲求全有沒有用
可是我多麼不捨
朋友愛的那麼苦痛

愛可以不問對錯
至少要喜悅感動
如果他總為別人撐傘
妳何苦非為他等在雨中

泡咖啡讓妳暖手
想擋擋妳心口裡的風
妳卻想上街走走
吹吹冷風會清醒的多

妳說妳不怕分手
只有一點遺憾難過
情人節就要來了 剩自己一個
其實愛對了人 情人節每天都過

分手快樂　祝妳快樂
妳可以找到更好的
不想過冬　厭倦沉重
就飛去熱帶的島嶼游泳

分手快樂　請妳快樂
揮別錯的才能和對的相逢
離開舊愛　像坐慢車
看透徹了心就會是晴朗的

沒人能把誰的幸福沒收
妳發誓妳會活的有笑容

妳自信時候真的美多了

Turning a year older

I've been out of action from training. and for a good reason : my birthday !

I have to say, i had a good time this birthday.

Wed night : A very awesome love-hating group that decided that we should celebrate my birthday at the stroke of midnight at Butter Factory. That was peppered with many drinks, and of cos celebrity sightings.

Thursday : I went for stretch class, fell asleep there. No surprise to that! Was so tired from wednesday night. And went for dinner with family.

Friday night : Had drinks with friends and besties. That was crazy. I think my body digest alcohol & fun too fast.

Saturday : shopped for costumes, had dinner, and played cards

Sunday : lazed around and went for a movie

Monday : met with old friends... and played old-skool games.

All in all. I am loving it!

Perhaps i guess i have to admit i am getting older. Gifts are no longer as neccessary than before. Yes, it's a nice-to-have. Receiving text messages from a friend that i thought i lost to the wind and time warms my heart. And that feeling of being told i am missed leaves me teary. But being able to spend time with friends, even at a stretch of 10 to 11 hours, that's something to go down the memory lane with. Call me sappy & old. But i guess, that's what happen with aging.

I usually don't really like celebrating my birthday on 17th, due to the painful loss of the man i loved the most my entire life : my dad... on 18th September 1985. Not a day goes by, without the thought of him. More importantly, Thank You for making me who i am today. Be it for the better or for the worse, i am sure you are proud of every lil achievement i have made along the way.

Life goes on.

I love my family & friends.

More dinners on the way !

Laughter is the best medicine

Sometimes, you might just feel dreary and the sniffles are setting in.

Who do you call ? The doctor?

No... you call a bunch of friends who are crazy, who disses each other the minute they see each other, who eat a whole bunch, and laugh a whole lot.

:)

in life, you always meet idiots

I don't consider myself being absolutely friend-less. I consider myself blessed with friends from all walks of life. I have a bunch of lunch mates whom i consider my buddies in life, i have an old bunch of drinking friends who are always good for decent happy hour, and a bunch of triathlete friends who i share a good number of hours with, in lycra(how glamorous). Each group unique of each other. And i love them. These are people who you have activity or interactivity with, at one point or another.

Then comes into networking sites. People who might have met you once or twice, or do not know who you truly are, add you onto their network. This platform allows anyone and everyone to post all sorts of comment on your thoughts.

Unluckily, i ran into a couple of very discouraging posters who claimed to be my friends. What route do i pursue next? DELETE them. :) Life's good. You just have to embrace that in life, you always meet idiots.

Depression... for athletes

To my dear triathlete (swim.bike.run) friends : 

whether you're the pro, the wannabes, the weekend warriors, or just casual 

Ever suffered from depression? Ever wonder how it felt? I am not referring to the kind whereby you suffer a heartache or something miserable, neither am i referring to the post-natal, or the work related type or family stress. I'm picking a topic that hits close to my heart : post-injury depression.

As 'casual' as i may have claimed to be, i still am out doing something everyday. A simple 3km run can cheer me up, in ways that i can't just describe to you. A good stretching session or core strength session can work its magic, despite it being really low impact. Come to think of it, i work out at least 3 days a week, unless i am really busy. 

Being busy is never a bad thing. You forget about training. There are things to occupy your mind. Having a crazy social life meeting up with friends occupy a lot of time and your mind, and yet provide comic relief to the soul. But as triathletes, your life revolves not just around family and friends, your life revolves about swim, bike and run. You spend a lot more time with your friends who are almost always doing some sort of training. The way you bond with these friends are through doing the same activity together. You find common ground and common topic. How many of us triathletes do hang out with others on a normal day that is skirt, pants, and normal clothes instead of skin tight lycra (oooh sexy...)? Not many. When you fill your schedule with 4 to 5 days of training, you barely have time to yourself, and your family. 

When you train that much a week, you're more likely than not to suffer from overtraining (burnout!) or injuries. When that happens, you suddenly feel lost, and upset. You can't focus at anything you do, as your endorphin and adrenalin seeking activities are pulled to a halt. Your social life doesn't seem so revoltingly exciting any longer. You get envious of friends who are on the move. You feel useless, and just sink into depression. At that time, you feel like you're slumped to a corner, without any care and concern from anyone. But wait! Your friends do care, they advise you to stop to prevent more injuries, and they meant well. Except how do you tell someone who's always on the move to stop? 

As difficult as it may seem to be, it is inevitable that you who may be suffering from post-injury depression to stop and let  the injury recover. Tell yourself everyday that you'll get stronger. Find things to do : pick up a new hobby. Read more, you'll discover something you never knew. Spend time with those you might have to miss out everyday. I may have been having shin bone problem, and always wanting to run. But i have since learnt that sometimes i have to stop and smell the roses. I've decided to spend time with more friends. And you will soon realize sports isn't everything.

And especially to my bbbreeeeeasssstttt friend : 

pls get it into your head. I'm always on your case, and always will be. 

 Rest is to go a longer distance.

Erin Ashley Heng

Hi, this is Erin Ashley Heng

Birth Date : 26th Aug 2009

Hello World... isn't she a doll?

She's my lil god-daughter

at the end of the day...

Family...

The people who put up with whatever shytt you give. 

The people who standby you. 

The people who support you at your training. 

The people who always never fails to encourage you 

and of cos, believe you can do it. 

The people who love you. 

 Tends to be the ones you do not spend enough time with, 

largely due to swim.bike.run, training ... or races.

To my family. 

HELLO 

and here's to more 8 dishes within the few of us.