Headstrong and softhearted

I had a conversation with some friends today, mulling over the lack of preparation for the year-end marathon. I signed up in May, thinking "i have six months, why panic?". Wrong move, with the amount of fluctuations and changes i have with work.

With 9 weeks to go, i wonder about my plan for the race. I ran 5km last night. Then i knew it's time to panic. NINE MORE WEEKS! I told Matt "yea, i'll just keep running, unless money gets the better of me, and i chose to make money instead of running". and told others that "even if my head is willing, my heart is unwilling, then why force it?"

Then comes the term : headstrong and softhearted. I haven't heard other words that says the head is soft, and heart is hard. It just didn't seem right.

For now, i'll keep on running. Cos that's the only way i can do or panic, just barely 9 weeks away from 2010 Marathon. :)

the big 30 --- i wanna be a skinny bitch

I remember when approaching the "big" 2-0 then, that i had views and dreams that 2-0 is really very old, and filled with big dreams. And i even made a pact to marry a friend of mine, if i turn 21 and was single then. That rolled around, and i was attached to someone else then, so nothing came out of that.

The 20s was filled with excitement and partying, and making a new social market for myself. As i made my way to mid-20s, i thought how wonderful life is if i got hitched at that age and had a kid. When i started turning 27, i felt i wanted to conquer the world, and just focus on building a name and reputation in the telecomms industry. Towards the end of my 29s, the man who silently rooted for me despite all the ups and downs, decided to propose. I crossed 30 being engaged to the same wonderful man i knew.

Now turning 30 for less than a week, i went to do my first sunday run as a 30 year old, with Reeves hinting "it's because i am 30, and scared of being fat". Perhaps he's right. The next 10 would be a scary thing. Lots of changes in life. One thing's for sure : i wanna be a skinny bitch.

Pls pardon me while i slowly try to conquer the world.

Growing pains ...

I spent the weekend, celebrating Sandra's birthday (Happy birthday my bff 2010 and cheers to turning 30), and spending the entire Sunday with Purdue mates. Purdue --- something that can't be replaced in my heart.

Mark mentioned over dinner to his "friend" about how wonderful life would be if we all stayed at Hawkins, and how absolutely fun. His "friend" thinks it's childish. But hey, he's right. We all miss school days. I miss being worry-free, care-free, and of cos having a blast. I was the kid who goes to every class, but tries her best to stay awake. I was the kid who loves her car so much that she cries. I was the kid that listens to hip hop music, and loves her modern classical.

Now the kid is turning 30, and feels the greatest satisfaction is from her work, and being recognized for the effort. Another thing getting older is my car. My poor lil red monstahhh is checked into the workshop, and i got his "bigger bro" - the clubman, as a courtesy loaner. I still love cars, and still cry over my cars being sold / damaged. I think the clubman cooper is really nice to drive. With a longer base, it's more stable. Am i getting older? Nooooo... i still love my lil red monstahhh.

The turning of a decade

In a matter of days, i turn a digit older. And a new decade awaits. A decade gone by. When i was turning the big 2-0, i had my best mates with me, and i received a total of 13 soft toys, from Hello Kitty( i still have that) to Pooh Bears. I still talk to the same people from back in Purdue, and home in 310 (LA baby...). Even if we are miles away, i still miss them dearly, and we can always pick up where we left off.

Now i am turning 30. They say 30s is the new 20s. I wonder about the drive for life and think back on that wild ambition i had when i was going to graduate from Purdue. Sure, i wanted to be part of consulting / finance / banking. Ten years down, post graduation, I still am in banking, but on the side of being served and the one who owned a business that is bank-rolled. But still I am always surrounded by friends who are awesome, and constantly challenging my thoughts, while leaving me grounded.

I have friends, whom i don't believe would be the ones to get hitched, who are now in 2010 married with kids. I have friends who are still chasing that college dream of making it big in the market and rolling the dough. All of these friends make a part of me. I guess, to an extent, all the hands i've shaken, and the numbers exchanged, and the sms-es flying across the space, all these are the little things that make me who i am today. All the emotions, the tears, the joys, the sadness, the happiness.

In the past 10 years, i've gone through a life of no mobile phone to being totally dependent on a phone that has internet. I had a simple Intel Pentium 1 computer, and now i have a Intel Core 2 Duo computer. Technology has seen such huge changes. And i turn 30 with the Internet Service Provider's introduction of fibre network to my home. I came from T1, and dialup, just barely 10 years ago. I'm glad i was part of the change and progress technology has.

Aahhh, who would have thought life would present that many changes and challenges? From non sporty to loving triathlons or even 70.3, who would have thought that I would like that? Well, now for the biggest commitment in my life. I am turning 30 and i am getting married. :) Life's good.