Back to the drawing board

It's been some time since i really worked out.
So the last week shall jump start my workouts...
Monday : Swim with Julz... i didn't count the mileage. I gave up counting after some time. but hey, at least i swam.
Wednesday : run a really short run ....
Sunday : bike... pretty short, slightly less than 40k.

Now i am tired, sore all over... gawd...

Ironman70.3 Singapore 2009 --- The one about the tall dark and handsome

 

Remember some time ago, a newspaper article on The Straits Times ran about the hype of two professional triathletes powerhouse racing the Ironman70.3 Singapore on 22nd of March 2009, and a certain female triathlete Ms Ang Eve remarked that she is not participating the Ironman70.3 because she's watching the pros Craig "Crowie" Alexander & Chris "Macca" McCormick race the Ironman70.3 instead. 

Damn right, that's what she did. And she got pictures with the two cuties. 

I wore a tee that says "I'm a triple major in tall dark and handsome". Something cheeky cos i thought it would be darn funny. At least my friends thought so. And i snagged a couple of pictures with Crowie and Macca, of cos fessin' up that they are my tall dark and handsome. Heh! 

It was so fun being a supporter. We had beer, food... and  a whole load of fun. So much so, the guys from ENR who are racing, told us they really wish they were supporting. :) ahhh well, another very good sunday. 

Let's go to Hong Kong

You may call me a jetsetter. You may even want to remark that i live a tai-tai lifestyle. Well, i am not going to deny how much fun i've been having. I hardly work since the Chinese New Year. Barely stepping foot back into Singapore soil for less than a week, i flew off to Hong Kong, to attend my friends' wedding. Two to be precise. On the date of 14th March 09.

It seems to be a recurring theme of the date of 14th, as auspicious date for getting hitched. On Feb 14th'09, Seggy (with Serena); on March 14th'09, Jacky (with Cynthy) & Hugo (with Omat) got hitched.

I must admit, the whole trip to HK was a blast. I had fun, doing the alternative stuff, as opposed to just going there to really indulge in shopping and food. Funnily, it feels like home. Everyday we wake up, and just go hangout with friends, going to different places to have breakfast, lunch or dinner. I took different modes of transport : bus, electric trams, taxis, mini-buses, mtr. I managed to go to Big Wave Bay / Shek O. The surf there is amazing. The weather was very nice : 10 degrees celsius to 19 degrees celsius. I met many old friends whom i first knew back in LA. I had a lot of food, streetside and restaurants and cafes. Oh... and i can't deny my love for H&M and of cos, the adidas original store there. :)

I love HK... and i can't wait to go again.
And of cos, my friends are awesome to hang around with, which make it the trip even better. Even more heartwarming is how we're able to just pick up where we left off some 12 years ago, when we first knew each other in LA, when i first picked up cantonese, where we first did too many things. 12 years on, we're very much the same. Well, except most of you guys are married. But we still have an awesome time together. That being said, LA rocks.

Singapore Biathlon 09

Can't believe it has been a year. A year since my last biathlon. I, like anyone else, would have wanted to have a better timing than the year before. Of course, this year is not meant to be. After an entire 20-something days trip, filled with gluttony and fun, and cutting back on all sorts of words that include swim.bike.run, i know the biathlon is going to be one of the most painful things ever. Throw in jetlag and cramps, i might as well kill myself. There was concern over how horrible i would feel.

I told myself i am gonna be fine and just to go with a relaxed mind. Who cares about timing? I am more concerned over survival of the sea swim. I swam backstroke some of the way. And a 10k run? Well, worst case scenario : walk, which is exactly what i did.

:) o well... i did get a nice ice-bar after the race, and meeting up with the guys i see when i used to be training. I did get remarked that i got leaner, which may be attributed to a doughnut and ice cream diet that i had. O, and getting called a liar was somewhat refreshing.

running in the cold...

The temperature hover around high 20s to low 40s. Occasionally, coupled with windchill. Not exactly a recipe to put on those long tights, and a long tee, and my running shoes to head out for a run. I should be sitting by my fireplace, bundled with a blanket and some warm chocolate.

Of cos, that's not about to happen. With the amount of indulgence (krispy kreme doughnuts, some burgers, some buffets), i should really workout. It's killing me to feel lethargic, and i wasn't about to put on anymore weight. 

I'll confess i didn't bring any running shoes to US with me. Partly cos i wanted a new pair. I ended up getting a pair of trail running shoes (to further motivate more seshs at MR when i get to Singapore). Adidas Response Trail 15 --- sworn by some hardcore runners. Truth be told, i've gone through a fair number of shoes, before deciding on this pair. It fits my budget : ok ok i was cheap, it barely cost 70 Singapore Dollars, around 38 USD. Plus the colors are friendly. I could use these same greys & pinks on any pair of jeans, and tee and just go out. Good for travelling. I am a huge fan of grey & pink. 

So i took the shoes and myself all bundled up, from my home in Franklin TN to the Christ Church. Distance is 5km. That feeling of coming back feeling good, and the shoes serving the purpose of keeping me on track in the grass patches, and along the wet and slushy ground just made me want to go out and run. 

Run Baby Run

Spotted : Fred Rodriguez of Rock Racing

Spotted... Fred Rodriguez of Rock Racing... right from the Angem Tour of California.

Omg omg... Ok i usually am cool around celebrities. But man... this guy. My first pro-cyclist spotting... 

Snowboarding & Vegas

The weekend went by too soon. To describe it as what feels like a week is totally an understatement. Hey a lot of people don't do stuff like that.

A bunch of my friends from NorCal & SoCal ( i love you guys, btw!) got together and we headed for some snowboarding. I don't really have much time to spread around. Sure there might not be powder, but hey we had fun. Hahaha, a lot of laughter, a lot of joy. Watching other guys just snowboard down with zero worries, and those lil kids who just zoom down. Maybe it's true, the younger you are, the less worries you have. Hmmm... But i had fun. Pictures would be posted shortly. I still have ski lift phobia. The funny thing about the place we went , which is Mountain High at CA somewhere off San Bernardino, is you have to take a ski lift over the intermediate hill to get to the beginner slopes. So when the park closes, we have to either choose option A) snowboard your ass down the intermediate slope (which is really scary...) or B) stop the ski lift, and take it down, holding your board with you. For someone who hasn't snowboarded for two years, i had tons of fear, and less guts. I was freaking out, and couldn't do toeside turns (still can't...after a day,...dammit). By the end of the day, we scooted the intermediate slope, and of cos my other friends Robin and Ted reminded me i won't die, and it's gonna be fine. I was scared, it was steep. We were laughing like crazy, and absolutely scared out of my wits. I could accumulate snow between my legs, cos i was sliding down if i sit down on the slope.

With that, we ended and then went off to have shabu shabu in J-town and sake. Huge ass bottle of sake. I have to say nothing ends a day of snow better than shabu shabu. You get all warm & fuzzy. Knock out from the lack of sleep, was awake at about 7am that friday morn, plus some boarding, and then sake. Lethal combi, and i set immediately to sleep when i dragged myself into the car. Not before declaring I am not gonna drive.

The next morning, we were up early to yumcha, before heading to Vegas. Vegas was a blast too. The strip has changed quite a fair bit, since i last went. We stayed at the Mirage, but were everywhere else, from Wynn, to Wynn's latest Encore, to Venetian, back to Mirage. We were out and about, playing poker, roulette, texas. And i was of cos drinking myself silly at every table. I didn't really care if i shouldn't drink while gambling. Afterall, it's Vegas. I think Vegas is really over-the-top when it comes to everything. Everyone's dressed up, and you can drink everywhere.

I must say i had a blast. I really am appreciative of the friends, the weekend they sacrifice to be with me. And how they throw caution to the wind, when they are out with me. I can't believe it's been somewhere between 10-12 years since we first met. True, i might have been tired, but i still love it.

:) Like Ted said , i'm off to where my real holidays, back home to Nashville.

run baby run

I had a run today.
To some it may be short; the others, it's a feat.
On the roads. Right after work.
On my face was this smile.
And I can't wipe it off.
Just because i know he is beside me, in front of me, following me.
And of cos, running alongside me.
He's finally sharing something i really like doing... and am going to love doing.
Just because i know he is beside me.

Happy Lunar New Year

Happy Lunar New Year one & all...!

The entire long weekend was spent mostly in bed, sleeping. Not that i mind. It's always about the food, the sleep and some drinks to keep me happy. All those yummy stuff : pineapple tarts, love letters, chips, cookies. Before you think i have gained weight, think again. I have not. In fact, i am quite happy with my progress of weight loss. I maintained it. :)

I did go for my virgin bike ride of 2009 on the Eve of Lunar New Year. One word : PAIN. I think it's down to the saddle. I have the worst pain i ever had, since i started riding way long ago. It isn't chaffing. It's butt sores. And i had to endure the pain while seating myself down on any form of surfaces : bed, car seats, chairs.

I've also been swimming ... for some weeks. It's just that wake up call when i went into the pool. Since then i have been putting in mileage, inclusive of Lunar New Year week. I guess i'm off to a good start. Now ... to find my running mileage, which stands at a dismal zero.

Wish me luck...

keeping tab of my fitness

The wake up call came, when i started hitting the pool for a few laps Monday night. I am aware my fitness has dwindled, but completely thrown off by how much it has. I am back to ground zero. Sure, there have been calls to ask me to return. But i've been busy. Many a times, i wonder whether i should return, but giving up my social life is a little too much.

What should i do? I guess... who cares? I've already done so much. I already belong to the rare group of women in triathlon. So let me live, people... get off my back. I'll continue doing triathlons, i'll just slow down this year, and shift focus on other stuff.

'09 : the one about new year's resolution

So it's yet another year. And there's this talk and practise that i do my new year's resolution. I didn't get into graduate school yet, not because i can't make it, but because i haven't gotten around to applying for it. So i guess that has to go into my '09 resolution.

I did however complete my 70.3. I'm still having this mental debate within myself whether i should get started on it. The registration fee puts me off. At S$370, i don't think i should. Yet the thrill of being in a race as such... it's very tempting.

So here i am , trying to draft out my new year's resolution.

1. I resolve to declutter. Everything in my life should be simplified and cleaned out. From my work to my desire to go school, to my workdesk, right up to training plans... everything and anything.
2. getting lean. and eat less junk. Ok, i said it a million times i won't say it, but i will.
   
3. try to apply for school. i give up on saying i wanna go in. i will try to apply..

So Jeannie was saying "she who breaks a resolution is stupid; she who makes one is a fool..."
So go figure...
i do try to stick to my resolutions. At least 50% of it.

2008 in perspective

Getting started to write this blogpost took me a long time. It's been a year. Oh wow! All 365 days, all five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes. How would i measure this year? I would say, it's not been a great year in terms of work growth. I made a few good friends and gotten closer to those who matter. I haven't met my lose-weight goal, neither have i gotten into grad school. Both of which should go into my new year's resolutions for 2009, i guess. I've been saying it so often. Time to put plan into action.

I did cut down drinking, not quite sure about the flab. Despite the number of events i train for, i love food too much. Hahaha.. doesn't help that i've gained weight through the festive season of Christmas... and all through to New Year's Day 2009. Thanks to hanging around my friends. I've also started spending more time with Jeannie and discovered how well we are when partying. And not forgetting the girls (April, Jeanie, Meihwan, Clara, Angie, Justina) through the number of weddings and birthdays that we all commit to celebrating together.

Meeting up with the Purdue guys for Sanford's wedding post-Christmas (this deserves a long post by itself) was definitely the highlight to end my 2008 with a bang. We had an unforgettable road trip, filled with memories, and further sealing and confirming the fact we're all going to be the closest friends for life.

The boys the SBWs ... they're still around. We're tighter than ever. Yep, Barry W., i know you're reading. We're a funny bunch of people. With every year, we get to know each others' peeves, and grown accustomed to how anger is managed. There are times when we are so annoyed with each other. But like old friends, we forgive and forget and move on. Other times, we just read each others' minds. We had numerous occassions of showing up in shades of blue, black or pink, without informing each other. We sacrifice our time off work and other commitments to make sure we have lunch and dinner together. The SBWs are here to stay.

I've moved quite a fair bit, in terms of triathlon. I've been stronger than before, in swimming, in cycling, and not so much in running (ok, i admit it, i've been doing a whole amount of walking, i must change this). I've done enough events that baffles me sometimes. And there are times i'll just sit there, staring at my Finisher medals and just can't believe i can do all that. The human mind and body are truly a work of God. It's amazing that the body can stretch with such limits. With the time spent in sports, i also gotten much happier with things around me. And i got to know more people in triathlon races and made very good friends with Reeves, Yongfeng, Caroline, and Julz. These people have been great support and of cos, very great motivators and swindlers into the unknown and dark side. Triathlon's a sport, that in my opinion, is not about competition against others, but to tell yourself you can do it, and race against yourself, and to do it first and forthmost for yourself.

I wouldn't say i am not going through the growing-up blues, trying to piece everything together to make life more awesome than it is. I feel so stuck in this vacuum of mindset that i feel like i'm still right out from college, yet admitting there're certain things that i can't deny time has taken a toll of. I don't like to look back in anger. I don't like to live with regrets, i may have a few, but it's part and parcel of growing up. It's been another good year, and i'm making 2009 even more spectacular.

swim.bike.run.08

I was talking to a friend about a friend's arrival back to Singapore as an Ironman. Julian has completed an Ironman race in Western Australia, and has been bugging me to join the Singapore Ironman70.3 in March 2009. I am tempted. Seriously tempted. Our friend Reeves noted that it's the sense of loss after an IM race, and that need to find that joy back crossing the finishing line.

Looking back through 2008, it's been one heck of a remarkable year. I set out with a certain set of goals : finishing a few races here and there... and finishing the Olympic Distance Triathlon. It was a good leadup, or so i thought. I signed up for NUS Biathlon (Sprint), which runs about two weeks before Singapore Biathlon. NUS Biathlon happens during CNY, i will not make the same mistake signing for a race during CNY again. Bad mistake, Bad bad bad mistake. I didn't sleep for the sake of cards and drinks, and went to the NUS Biathlon grouchy and sick. Singapore Biathlon was somewhat fun, meeting tons of my friends on the course. And realized i hate Singapore waters due to seabugs. Fast forward to a crazy last minute roping in to do Bintan Tri (Swim Leg), i clocked my personal best swim timing of 34minute-ish. I like it! So Saab City Duathlon came by, it was a modified race... but so what? I had fun. Osim Triathlon Olympic Distance, which i signed up for, but barely had enough time to train for it, my cousins came by around town from home in US. I didn't find time to head to training. And now i'm admitting i am the crybaby that came out from the water in Osim, and took way too long.

I basically sat myself down, and pen down my focus to run more. I am not the greatest runner, and had great plans to finish my first marathon in '08. A few s*#t-stirrers, like Yongfeng and Auntie CW) came aboard, and swayed me to go to Desaru to do my first long distance triathlon. I wasn't really prepared so i trained really hard a few weeks before, and not wanting to feel disappointed, i didn't tell a soul i was going and just went with my guts. I finished that race, beaten by the sun. Came back on an euphoric high, and signed for the Aviva Ironman70.3 Singapore. I did my Army Half Marathon a week after Desaru. By 70.3, i was so burnt out, so tired, and just wanted to get the race over.

I had a well-deserved rest after 70.3. I played my first 18-hole golf. That was also lack of practise, but i had some fun. I just sat around, had a bit of a party time, and leisure time with my friends. I stopped cycling. I started running a bit here and there. Got roped into going for Osim Corporate Triathlon ( Cycling leg). Last minute notice, i had half a week to get back onto the saddle. Even 20k would suck. I hated the mud, but had fun with my friends like Leslie, and the guys from Glencore. Towards the end of the year, i ran a whole lot more, a max of 60km for one particular week. But it went downhill from there, i had a calf muscle tear. I went to walk the Singapore Marathon, despite my physio's advice to sit out. I had to, all a matter of my pride and the amount of time invested.

Was i glad about the year? I sure was. Well-accomplished.

Events.08 :
17th Feb NUS Biathlon(Sprint)
1st March Singapore Biathlon (OD)
26th May Bintan Triathlon (Swim leg OD)
8th June Saab City Duathlon (5km run, 25km cycle, 10km run)
13th July Osim Triathlon (OD). 20th July Shape Run 5km.
16th Aug Desaru Long Dist Tri (2km swim, 90km bike, 21km run). 23rd July Army Half Marathon
7th Sept Aviva Ironman70.3 Singapore
26th Oct GE Women's 10k Run
1st Nov Osim Corporation Triathlon (Cycle leg),
7th Dec Standard Chartered Marathon.

12 events. 1 year. Oooo, what a year.

My 1st 42.195km

I couldn't take it.
The rolling awake at 5ish am to 6ish am every weekend.
Those long runs i put in, at East Coast Park.
Those runs i put in, at MacRitchie Park.
The thoughts just haunts me, of putting those mileage to waste.
Sacrifices made to do my runs. The loss of time with friends, and dinners with family.

I've been in an ambivalent mood all week, leading up to the marathon.
At 11pm on the night before those 42.195km, i told myself "if there are no better plans tonight, i'm going to sleep and go for the marathon. Sadly, there were none.
The clock beeped me awake at 330am on 7th December. The time is near.
I had the usual tummy churning jitters, which is a surprise, considering i wasn't panicking for days, and was consuming beer and alcohol at an extremely high dosage. I had wanted to start with Uncle KC. But that tummy just wouldn't hold for those kms. I ended up all alone, with my ipod stuck to my ears. I met Gary & Nick along the way...before i detoured. I met Chris, a friend from swim class. I met a few other people. No one stuck to my mind more so than meeting Kai. We chatted everything under the sun, from about going to zouk after marathon, and having drinks, to injuries, and overtaking people, and about our siblings and our relationships. The fun was just there, i totally enjoyed it. And of cos, the joy of finishing those 42.195km walk with a friend. :)

It's not just how you get there, it's whether you get there.

3 days more...

Every second, every minute, every hour....
we inch a little closer to the start line.
At 530am on 7th December 2008,
the crowds will start to feel unsettled, the air will feel still and thin.
Those 42.195km ahead... can be a run, march, walk.

------------------------------------------------------------------

That ardous task might be brought forward to 2010. It's a pity, a shame... and an outcry. My left calf muscle suffered a tiny tear, due to a chain of possible events : overtraining, not enough stretching, the list goes on. O well, it's a shame, i guess....

a 11 year old's birthday

It's Erik's nephew's birthday. We got him a game, and the boy's mother decided to get him a Wii as a surprise birthday gift. Kids, regardless of how smart they are, are still kids. I made a call to the birthday boy, trying to outsmart him.

An excerpt from our conversation :
me : eh what do u buy for someone your age... like a game from wii?
boy : o... eh you wanna buy me a gift, just say so?
me : you can wait long long... so what game? hurry up.. and tell me. and i'll get you a book for your birthday, not games.
boy : can i have comic book then? ...* at this point, he goes way off topic to stocks*

Don't ask me why he asked about stocks or stock market. Apparently, his grandmother got him a stock as birthday gift. What does a 11 year old do with a stock? Beats me.

I got to his place, to pick him up for birthday and got talking to him... this time, face to face.

Our conversation :
boy : you know, i like this. the world revolves around me today. everything is about me
me : and why?
boy : it's special. It's my birthday.
me : o... so how old are you?
boy : 11.
me : ok.

At this point, i think the boy is at a loss. I haven't responded much to his birthday. His brother kept teasing him with a "i got a secret but i can't share with you...", adding much to our laughter.
Whatever the case is, he was jumping in joy by the end of the night.
Cos he got Wii ... and SPORE for PC.

Kids... sigh... kids

All the way to my first 42km

Monday morning would tell you how you feel through the week. With a scenery as such, with low lying dark clouds and light rain, my thoughts were "this is going to be one hell of a week". True enough, i was almost right. I felt sick, from some "cooling" herbal tea my mom fed me, when i complained of "pu juah" (body suffering from heatyness from last week's total mileage of 42k). So i was down mostly, on Monday & Tuesday. I am not going to deny this... yes i overate on tuesday.. thanks to Angie's birthday dinner.

On wednesday i woke up bright and early, to grab badminton courts. And then went on a 8.6km run. Every metre counts, at this time. I wasn't feeling my best yet, and yes i am still feeling full. But i did play badminton on that day too. On thursday evening, i went with Julian for a quick run around the neighborhood for about 7km, before heading off for dinner. Dinner is, as always, super. We probably eat more calories than we burn during those 7km. But what the heck?

Saturday morning... i had trouble rolling awake... and dragged myself to East Coast Park F2 carpark to meet with Uncle KC, Matsuoka-san, Kelvyn and Gary. And we embarked on the run. I was surprised i did 21.4km, and felt incredibly awesome. Slow and steady, the way i like it. I got home for lunch, and got into my compression tights, stretched myself a whole lot more and slept. I was groggy and having tummy issues, wondering how am i going to run the day after.

Sunday morning was the Nike Lunar Trainers trial. I decided to give them a shot. They promised cushioning, and seems to me a few of my friends are fan. O they felt good, but i suffered a slight blister, as i am a fan of low socks. But they felt good! I went on a 14k run. And they surprisingly held up quite well. And they look gorgeous.

Am i ready for those 42k? After the weekend of pooom-powwweerrr run, i don't see why not. Whether i'll live through it, i wouldn't know. I am just going to keep on trying.

Osim Corporate Triathlon 2008

I went home feeling like an absolute loser on Friday 31st October 2008 Halloween Night. I sat by the tv, and just vegetated... and thinking i should be out. But i am glad i didn't head out, i would have been too lazy to move around. :) Part reason was the Osim Corporate Triathlon happening the next day.

Leslie called to ask on the Tuesday night if i could stand in for a girl who came down with chicken pox. What was i to do? Of cos the answer is always Yea ok. This time round, i had 3 days to prep. I haven't cycled since 70.3. That was like two months ago. So wed morning, i took the bike out for a quick 10k spin. Gawd, i nearly died. So i decided to do what i do best : wing it... !

Saturday came. The entire field was filled with mud. Such a kind reminder of my first Osim Triathlon 2007 in a muddy field. My mind was filled with dread. I managed to meet my relay team-mates and Leslie, and Leon, and William. I actually felt pretty relaxed until it was the start time... and i had to run through a mud patch before hitting the road. Those 20k left me pretty much battered. Ssshhh, don't tell anyone i did 70.3 before.

But i had a pretty decent picture. Thanks Mike...i don't look that fat.
And Thanks Reeves... yes i know i have a nice bike, but cyclist buay kan... !
And of cos Thanks to Leslie... i cleaned my bike for a whole hour, but i had fun...

GE Women's 10k 2008

I signed up for the GE Women's 10k for some time. Missed the one last year, wasn't gonna miss it, cos All-Women's Run is so fun. The tee looks good. I didn't know who else signed up this year, and for once i felt truly alone, yet a sense of calm overwhelmes me, as i try to tell myself i have to finish within an hour 10 mins.

At the start line, i started to appreciate and understand why i love All Women's Runs. Women have this sense of space, i'm given elbow length from other runners, so unlike mixed races, everyone's tight together. Even when the run started, i'm given enough space. No side swipes from sweaty females. This alone made me feel that much better.

Midway through Nicoll Highway on the way back, i saw Joe-Ann, we chatted briefly and ran together. I told her to take off, i was gonna keep that steady pace. At the finish line, we managed to meet up again, and got pretty nice pictures taken courtesy of Adidas. Now another added reason why i love All-Women's Run.

The last reason is my timing. Not going to whine about it. I'm a slacker when it comes to running. So clearing 1 hr 7 mins 55 secs, i have no complaints. :)

37 days more to Marathon. So says the website. Damnit. Gotta get started.

HR Policies

"EFFECTIVE OCTOBER 17, 2008
NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall
door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management
Pass this on to all who are still employed!"

I got the above off the Trifam forum. It's such a hoot.
That being said, this is my view on the current market, and my everyday political situation in my office. I am a blessed boss, i would like to think. Low turnover, great projects, very few problems on site, my employees are efficient in clearing my problem. You would think life's going great. Except one thing : they like to talk.

We're very hands-off boss. We give you job, you finish your job, we don't talk. We don't really give instructions, we hand you the project, you finish your job, we don't talk. Yet, they like to talk. Unhappy with the work conditions, unhappy with their pay, unhappy with the prospects. But here the company stands, it's been a good 10 years. We're still standing. There was this saying : "Starting a business hard, keeping it going is harder".

I often told my mom "if they are unhappy, just tell them to resign. If there're really better prospects outside, just tell them to resign". I like to think i'm very new-age in terms of management skills. I believe that as employee, unhappy just leave.

Of cos, you would always think that the grass is greener on the other side.
But is it really?